[Karkat's lucky Dave doesn't snort and launch sadness snot all over the back of his shirt. Instead he sniffs and makes a face that Karkat can't see.]

Oh, what? Ew. No. Gross.

[Dave Strider: will eat actual garbage, pooh-poohs anything remotely healthy for him. Congratulations on your friend, Karkat, he's a winner.]

I'll just carry on until I'm too exhausted to maintain open see portals anymore and drop unconscious, because that's obviously the strategy of an okay and rational person and has been working phenomenally for me for the past third of a year. No cow secretions necessary.