[That is the thing, isn't it? She's been keeping it all in, and..
Ashley blinks shining eyes and looks away...but she starts to talk. Maybe it's easier, not seeing Dave's face.]
You... H-how could you... How could you do that to us? To- if not just to me, to Sam, to Chris! Did you think it'd- it'd fix everything, it'd make it all better, why did you make me s-see that? Your f-fucking...body, hanging there, why did you make Ch-Chris...
[She takes a deep breath.]
How could you make him choose? Twice? Do you know what that- what that'll do to him? ...What that did to me, every night, I still see... [Ashley hasn't told Dave this part. Her breath catches.
...and she continues.] See the gun at his chin. When I thought it was real, I...I wanted to die, Josh, just so- so he wouldn't have to, so I wouldn't have to see that, I wanted to so I wouldn't have to see what was left, how could you put that in my head, how could y-you...play on everything we- everything I was afraid of like that, I thought--
[Her shoulders tremble. Her eyes are squeezed shut.]
I'm sorry. I'm so...so sorry, I've been sorry and I can never change it, but now- now neither can you. [Instead of furious, like it has been, Ashley's voice just sounds strained. Like she's holding in tears.] You can't...e-even apologize, you just- left me with that for the picture of one of m-my best friends, that's- the last time I saw you, raving about your fucking masterpiece, and- and I h-hate it.
[She opens her eyes and looks at Dave. She can't hold back her tears now.]
I hate you. I hate that you've left me w-with this. I-I hate that I c-can't just hate you. I hate th-that every...damn memory o-of...everything is covered in that, a-and I wish I could just hit you and try to learn how to forgive you, Josh!
[The Pokégear trembles in her hands and Ashley almost drops it to her lap. Almost. Pink ribbons signal Arwen's arrive, and the Sylveon starts nuzzling into Ashley's side as she sobs.]
[Video]
Ashley blinks shining eyes and looks away...but she starts to talk. Maybe it's easier, not seeing Dave's face.]
You... H-how could you... How could you do that to us? To- if not just to me, to Sam, to Chris! Did you think it'd- it'd fix everything, it'd make it all better, why did you make me s-see that? Your f-fucking...body, hanging there, why did you make Ch-Chris...
[She takes a deep breath.]
How could you make him choose? Twice? Do you know what that- what that'll do to him? ...What that did to me, every night, I still see... [Ashley hasn't told Dave this part. Her breath catches.
...and she continues.] See the gun at his chin. When I thought it was real, I...I wanted to die, Josh, just so- so he wouldn't have to, so I wouldn't have to see that, I wanted to so I wouldn't have to see what was left, how could you put that in my head, how could y-you...play on everything we- everything I was afraid of like that, I thought--
[Her shoulders tremble. Her eyes are squeezed shut.]
I'm sorry. I'm so...so sorry, I've been sorry and I can never change it, but now- now neither can you. [Instead of furious, like it has been, Ashley's voice just sounds strained. Like she's holding in tears.] You can't...e-even apologize, you just- left me with that for the picture of one of m-my best friends, that's- the last time I saw you, raving about your fucking masterpiece, and- and I h-hate it.
[She opens her eyes and looks at Dave. She can't hold back her tears now.]
I hate you. I hate that you've left me w-with this. I-I hate that I c-can't just hate you. I hate th-that every...damn memory o-of...everything is covered in that, a-and I wish I could just hit you and try to learn how to forgive you, Josh!
[The Pokégear trembles in her hands and Ashley almost drops it to her lap. Almost. Pink ribbons signal Arwen's arrive, and the Sylveon starts nuzzling into Ashley's side as she sobs.]
I j-just wanted to find a way to forgive him.