[He lets one of his brief, voiceless laughs escape into Karkat's collar, just a breath of amusement rising out of all this bleak shit. Yes, fine, he will leave all the heavy thinking to the professionals. That actually sounds kind of nice. Dave might not mind just curling up next to Karkat and not thinking at all for a while, but that's probably unreasonable to ask for. He sighs and tries to usher anything resembling normalcy into his voice.]

I. I know. I just...

[His mouth is open, like the words might just fall out, but there's nothing there. His shoulders slump a little more.]

It's hard to talk about. [That comes out way too plaintive, so he takes a deeper breath and tries again.] And I don't want to give you the wrong impression, like...i-if I'm wrong about it, or making stuff up. If I'm being too...

[Too sensitive. Too needy. Too, he doesn't know, too something. He shakes his head a little against Karkat's shoulder.]

I know you said I wasn't, but it's still...that's why I had to ask so many people, I don't know what was. What was wrong. Or where to start. ...Or if I should.

[So much for sounding normal. He can't get much louder than a mumble. But he's not shaking anymore, at least. He rubs his palm over the flat of Karkat's back to ground himself more than anything.]

It's been a really long time.