5 ∅ [Anonymous Text]

[callbacks]

[You'd think Dave would have learned his lesson about anonymity, but maybe learning doesn't stick so well at ass in the morning when he can't sleep. At least it doesn't seem like he's really trying to mask his identity, here. It's just...a plausible deniability thing, maybe. Probably, given the content of his message.]

what was growing up like for you
like
how was your childhood
were you happy

Comments

[callbacks]

no actually most of that sounds legit
except the giant magic mmmmmno yeah that checks out too
someone i know had magic knitting needles so keys arent that weird
talking animals in my experience tend to be reptiles or amphibian though

[islandshore]

Wait, magic knitting needles?

What do they do? Knit mystic tunics and wizard robes?

[It's the first thing that comes to mind... though stabbing is a legit option. Probably.]

Anyway, are we talking frogs? Salamanders? All the above? Is there some secret world full of scaly overlords?

[callbacks]

nah mostly they just like generated laser blasts of concentrated gothness
and nah dude the frogs didnt talk
salamanders though those were around

[islandshore]

So, black light lasers? Heh. Well, that does sound more practical than repeated stabbing.

But now you've got me wondering about salamander culture. Salamander lifestyles... Do they have folk songs about their slimy skin?

[callbacks]

probably
if not that then probably mushroom farming
or getting gross oily shit all over their mail
dont get me started about the salamander postal service i still dont understand how the fuck that was supposed to work

[islandshore]

Mushrooms, huh?

Please tell me they use them for cooking.

[Because the alternatives are poisons, potions, or... other, less pleasant uses.]

And I'm surprised they even have a postal service. Wouldn't their slime mess up the envelopes?

[callbacks]

why did the crocodiles have a stock exchange
eventually you just kind of got to learn not to ask questions around those parts

[islandshore]

See, now you've got me picturing greedy crocodiles in top hats and monocles.

But you're probably right. It's like asking questions here and expecting reasonable answers.

[callbacks]

its not that bad here
like once you accept a few key nonsensical tenets to live by everything else more or less follows along

[islandshore]

Heh. So you think this place is tamer compared to where you're from?

Well, I know this world's like a video game for some people. And I guess when you live with salamander mailmen, it is a tough act to follow.