![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
5 ∅ [Anonymous Text]
[You'd think Dave would have learned his lesson about anonymity, but maybe learning doesn't stick so well at ass in the morning when he can't sleep. At least it doesn't seem like he's really trying to mask his identity, here. It's just...a plausible deniability thing, maybe. Probably, given the content of his message.]
what was growing up like for you
like
how was your childhood
were you happy
what was growing up like for you
like
how was your childhood
were you happy
text;
uh
pretty bad & absolutely not ^^;
text;
The mean end of a sword is the pointy end that hurts people.]
why what happened
[...Oh. Wait. Does this have to do with the stuff Elsa said? Shit. Okay. He won't show Elsa the mean end of a sword. ANYONE ELSE, THOUGH. RARRGH!]
no subject
okay the long is i don't
entirely remember everything that happened which is part of what makes me so upset about it, stupid trolls!!!! >:T but more or less what happened was things were actually pretty good up until a certain point, but one night my sister and i were playing in the foyer doing our thing, y'know, as kids do
and there was an accident and i hit my head kind of hard and it looked bad
now here's where things get a little wonky
my parents in their infinite wisdom go to these trolls who are like "okay she's gonna be fine but we're gonna take away all of her memories because for some reason it's better that way (question mark?)" and my parents are like "well clearly the solution here is to separate anna and her sister for their entire lives (or at least until she can learn how to control her ice powers properly)"
now keep in mind i'm like five so i obviously don't get any say in this AT ALL and no one bothers to tell me what's happening because y'know why would they, i have no idea what's going on, i don't know if it's something that, like, I'M responsible for because one day my sister's playing with me and everythings normal and the next she won't even LOOK at me let alone open her door to talk to me about it all because my parents think it'd be better to keep us apart
it wasn't my sister's fault or anything of course!!! i don't know why my parents thought it'd be a good idea to basically keep her locked away from me but well that was my life for the next 13 years and as if THAT wasnt bad enough they closed the gates to the castle down and got rid of all the staff so no one could get in or out of the castle unless there were special circumstances so i was basically a prisoner in my own house/castle and let me tell you
a castle's nice
when you have to see the same walls for 13 years though i swear you think you're gonna go NUTS
and THEN my parents passed away in an accident at sea so i didn't even have THEM to kind of make it a little better
so this whole time i'm basically like "wait wth (what the heck) i'm a princess one day my prince will come, that's what happens in all these fairytales!!" but then i meet him at my sister's coronation and he's a
what's the most royal and sophisticated way to say "butthead" there must be a more colorful way that's still appropriate for a princes--you know what i'm not a princess here and he was a DICK
BUT THAT'S NOT CHILDHOOD ANYMORE SO REWIND JUST A BIT but i didn't even know there WAS an accident until recently so i basically spent that whole time thinking that like I did something wrong so that was Special and the WORST part THE ABSOLUTE WORST PART is that my sister STILL THINKS ITS HER FAULT like I CAN DEAL WITH LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE but my sister STILL feels guilty about it and just
UGH
no subject
holy shit
[Princess Anna used a bad word! Okay, no, that's not even the important part of this. Christ, where does he even start.
(All the talk about castles clenches around his heart, for some reason. Tall towers and roosting birds, so close to the sun you think you might burn.)
Anyway.]
yo youre right thats completely fucked up
like
was she really locked up away from people too??
your sister i mean
no subject
neither of us so much as spoke to anyone outside the castle for pretty much 13 years it was
It was terrible I'll be honest there's no other way to really describe how lonely that is until you experience it but as bad as it was for me I can't imagine how it must have been for her and I still feel like awful about it because neither of us deserved that but especially not her
no subject
you shouldnt have had to be ALONE thats awful
and they should have fucking explained things to you!
i dont get it what good ever comes of not telling kids stuff it never works out well ever
no subject
told me
we could have worked something out as a family why did the whole thing have to be a secret if we worked something out together we definitely could have thought of something better than making her stay in her room and keeping us locked away but i just felt so like
betrayed by them i couldn't believe they would do such a horrible thing even if their intentions weren't necessarily bad i just
i dunno i just can't stand that they kept something like that from me let alone the entire kingdom, and i can't stand that they left both of us in the dark and so alone for so long
alone in our own house, we couldn't even support EACH OTHER like how messed up is that?!?!?!?! i'm sorry i didn't mean for this to turn into the "anna's life was a bit of a mess power hour"
no subject
didnt even think about it like a dunce i mean this has all got to be hard to talk about right
i just kind of
look is it ok if i keep asking questions about this stuff
i dont want to bring bad things up for anybody
thats not cool
no subject
i'll answer whatever you wanna know
no subject
ok about your parents
like
youre mad at them right
i understand theyre gone now but
do you hate them for what they did even though theyre not around to be mad at
no subject
the way they did it might not have been the best but their intentions were good, that said i'm LIVID not just because of the locking us away thing but also because like
this all happened because they wanted my sister to keep her powers a secret but
thats like denying a part of her exists and its an AMAZING part of her that i can't believe anyone would want to hide
no subject
i mean thats a thing i hear in stories all the time
that kids have to keep their powers secret because otherwise the government will take them though i guess technically as a monarchy you guys ARE the government
no subject
no subject
thats way too extreme and also like
so obviously harmful i cant even really grasp where they were coming from
like
how could they leave two kids alone
and like
not
help them at all...
hell why couldnt they have taken on a couple of the trolls as babysitters even
some species incorporate interspecies fostering as part of their normal culture anyway and its not like the trolls didnt know about the magic and what happened
no subject
better than absolutely nobody but still, most days it sure FELT like a ghost town
i used to kind of make up my own adventures, it was pretty much my only way of keeping myself from like going crazy
debatable whether or not it worked, depending on who you're asking
no subject
youre in good company
or youre in company anyway
i used to do the same thing kind of
not always the adventuring so much but i talked to myself a lot and made things up to entertain or distract myself
as a kid though did you know the situation was bad or did you only break it down later when you had something else to compare it to
no subject
when i was really young of course i always thought i did something bad or a monster was keeping elsa trapped in there and i had to be like her knight in shining armor to save her, like joan of arc (who was/still is my idol)
when i started to become a teenager i started questioning a little more, "why can't i go outside", "what's out there that i can't see", my parents would get a little shorter with me sometimes
and then they passed away and all of a sudden i just had no one and i probably could have left if i wanted to but i didn't want to only because i'd be leaving elsa behind but she still wouldn't come out and it was just
a hard time for everyone
no subject
yeah i understand that
so
i guess my last question is
where do you go from here?
how do you
make times better i guess
1/2
try to be there for here whenever i can right now. a lot of stuff happened at her coronation when i found out about her powers but ever since then we started working a little bit harder to basically make up for lost time i mean
it's not always easy cause stuff from the past has a way of coming back to bite you sometimes but elsa knows that no matter what she does there's nothing that can ever be too bad or too upsetting that she can't talk to me about it, and that i don't think she has anything to be sorry for when it comes to everything that happened but even if she did i'd forgive her in a heartbeat
even so
it's just very sad y'know? to know that she still blames herself and beats herself up over something she didn't have any control over, over an accident that happened when i was five years old, over something our parents did because
no subject
they were AFRAID of their own DAUGHTER
like how MESSED UP is that
no subject
especially
especially since i think
from what you said and from what ive heard her say about stuff it sounds like they made her be afraid of HERSELF
and thats
thats NOT what parents are supposed to do
theyre supposed
theyre supposed to make their kids NOT scared
shit
no subject
LITERALLY EXACTLY WHAT THEY DID THEY PASSED THAT FEAR ONTO HER AND THAT'S WHY
THAT'S WHY SHE'S SO SCARED OF IT AND JUST
HOW DID THIS NOT OCCUR TO ME BEFORE I'M REALLY MAD BUT IT'S LIKE
A CLEAR MAD, I KNOW WHY I'M MAD, I 500% GET IT NOW
no subject
hey are you ok
like besides being 500% mad which i think is a reasonable percentage mad to be about this just for the record
are you going to punch something because if you are please use proper form and try not to hit anything harder than your own knuckles
or use protection
safety first
no subject
and don't worry about my punching skills anyone who knows me will tell you the end of my fist is not somewhere you want to be ever
i'm not going to hit anything or anyone though i promise let me just
do some breathing, forgive me i'm like really excited but not like the good excited more like the "i am pure adrenaline right now and i want to yell at tombstones"
but i do hope this helped a little with um
whatever it is you're trying to figure out, you're a good listener
no subject
no yeah it did
i uh
am probably having my own quiet personal crisis over it but dont worry about it its probably a good thing
just gonna shake in the dark for a while its fine
i hope you find some good tombstones to yell at??
at least the weather is nice for cemetery visits this time of year
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)