[All right. She can't type up a whole message and then delete it anymore. This isn't the same as before, there's a real need and want to talk. It's hard, but eventually Dave will get this message.]
so do you ever see a post in the wide and wonderful interweb and think "wow is that person me or some genetic clone of me how do they know this feeling i have so well" and then you read comments and you kind of forget WHAT exactly you were thinking and you just get sad um
shit where was i going with this
dave i dont remember what happened at home but i feel like i did something bad i feel like i did a lot of things i would not be proud of and that might have disappointed you but also put you in the position of having to hold this information so i wouldnt find out
dave i am so sorry i thought if i just didnt bring up my doubts it would all be okay and nobody would have to worry i was wrong i did something bad i probably SAID something bad too maybe stuff that made you doubt how i feel about you and our friends? theres a lot of stuff i didnt say to all of you in the past, though sometimes i wanted to talk about it, i didnt want to be a downer with my shitty lonely personal life i dont want us to have secrets anymore, dave you are one of my very best friends and i always felt a little less lonely when talking to you now we are getting to go on a journey that isnt a convoluted chess game filled with death and time loops and clones we cant fully appreciate this journey or each others company if theres things left unsaid
shit this went on a while um i will be in violet tomorrow later
12/18 | morning
so do you ever see a post in the wide and wonderful interweb and think
"wow is that person me or some genetic clone of me
how do they know this feeling i have so well"
and then you read comments and you kind of forget WHAT exactly you were thinking
and you just get sad
um
shit where was i going with this
dave
i dont remember what happened at home
but i feel like i did something bad
i feel like i did a lot of things i would not be proud of and that might have disappointed you
but also put you in the position of having to hold this information so i wouldnt find out
dave
i am so sorry
i thought if i just didnt bring up my doubts it would all be okay and nobody would have to worry
i was wrong
i did something bad
i probably SAID something bad too
maybe stuff that made you doubt how i feel about you and our friends?
theres a lot of stuff i didnt say to all of you in the past, though sometimes i wanted to talk about it, i didnt want to be a downer with my shitty lonely personal life
i dont want us to have secrets anymore, dave
you are one of my very best friends and i always felt a little less lonely when talking to you
now we are getting to go on a journey that isnt a convoluted chess game filled with death and time loops and clones
we cant fully appreciate this journey or each others company if theres things left unsaid
shit this went on a while
um
i will be in violet tomorrow
later
<3