callbacks | 4 ∅ [Video]

[The video starts on an unsure-looking Kirlia. He starts to edge away, but Dave--apparently behind the camera--speaks.]

Naw, go ahead, dude. C'mon. Don't be shy.

[The Kirlia sighs, extremely put upon, and then ballet-toes back into place. There's a Dawn Stone on the floor nearby; the Kirlia bends primly at the waist to pick it up, and:

Presto.

Wart the Gallade examines his arm-blades for a moment, then shoots Dave a look as if to say, "If we're quite done now." Dave chuckles quietly.]

Yeah, yeah, thanks for humoring me, bro. The moment has been secured for posterity. Duty discharged. [The relief on the Gallade's face is palpable before Dave turns the camera towards his own movie star mug. Hello, Johto.]

So, hey. I get that baby's first evolution is probably ancient headwear for most of you, but he's the first guy I got all the way to his final form. That's worth some kind of jokey home video.

[Yeah, because he's obviously being ironic about this. He's not Proud Dadding all over his starter, no sirree.]

Anyway, I've been hearing about a bunch of different evolutionary paths our Poképals can take, and, I dunno. I'm curious, I guess. If you ever made a choice like that, what made you pick one way or the other?

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Machete.

[Dave turns away from the feed for a moment.]

Machete?

[While he's not looking, a Honedge drifts over to hover above his other shoulder, staring without blinking at Korra. Dave starts to turn back and then startles, then breathes out a laugh.]

Right. Ladies. Korra, may I introduce one Snow Cone Machete? Machete, Korra. She's cool.

[Machete keeps staring for a while, but eventually bobs in a shy little bow. Or something. Swords can't really bow. They're swords.]

[Wart just looks equal parts embarrassed and trying-not-to-look-embarrassed. He bows to her, surreptitiously tugging at his bandanna (his poor old janky scarf got shredded a while ago) to mask his expression a little better.

Dave smirks.]

Cute.

[Wart just tugs his bandanna up higher.]

Don't go around leading on too many squirrel girls, now.

[Wart's face disappears entirely behind the cloth. Fuck you, Strider. Fuck. You.]

Ralts. This guy.

[wart012.jpg]

But it's gotta be a boy to go this route, apparently. Otherwise they evolve into something else at level thirty.

Yeah, I'm sure compared to the space shenanigans you're used to this is pretty much straight up fun and excitement for days, huh?

It's just a really fun place to be. Between everyone here and the Pokemon...you could get used to it, right? This coming from someone who's, like, apparently got every girl's dream job...

Well...I dunno, maybe some of them do? It's not gonna be the same decision process for every Pokemon, you know? They're all different.

Hmmm.

[That's a good question.]

I don't think there's any particular trick to it. Make sure the Eevee is pampered and given a lot of treats, make sure he or she is happy and I think they evolve within a couple of weeks. Maybe a month?

[ENJOY YOUR PINK NIGHTMARE, DAVE]

It could be the latter. Or maybe it's just that the culture here is so different from most others. So many things revolve around pokemon battles, so between its popularity and a lack of complaints on the parts of our pokemon....

[Elsa just shrugs.]

It bothered me very much as well, in the beginning. But if it honestly helps our companions... do we really have the right to deny them the chance to grow?

And boy bands. Boy bands were real?

What, being a princess? The girls I know, they'd rather be physicists, world-famous celebrity authors, or dragons, pretty sure.

That's one heck of an ambitious bunch you've got there...

Oh, I guess that's true. Guess I gotta research all their lines and then talk it over individually with each of them.

Damn, this shit is way more involved than I would've expected.

So, like, you literally just bribe your Eevee into evolving the way you want it to. Fuck, I can get behind that. Hutch's gonna be so pampered, toddler training pants gotta rename their brand, won't be no Pampers left in the universal vocabulary.

[...]

Nah. I guess not.

[He looks off-screen for a moment, but then shrugs.]

I guess it's sort of like when kids want to learn how to do something mildly dangerous like skateboarding or summoning eldritch horrors from time untold out from the void. Like, you have to keep an eye on them, obviously, but kids gotta follow their bliss.

Hehe, Waaaart, don't be embarrassed--it's a good thing! [You know, "it", the whole thing in general.] We should be careful not to let him stray too close to any Pika-clones, though, we don't want them falling all over themselves with how cool and charming he is.

[Yes, even when Wart is trying to bury himself in his own awkward, Jade thinks he's adorable.]

When I played the games originally I just kinda let them evolve when they leveled up, or used the stones when I felt it was right. But I suppose now we can just ask them directly if they'd like to evolve? It seems like it would be the most considerate thing to do since they're our partners.

Define 'real'. Real in the sense that they existed, or real in the sense that they didn't all look like they came out of the same cookie cutter molds?

.... What.

[Oh my god, Dave. The way you say these things worries her so much....]

Um, what was that second one...?

The second one was me kidding.

...

...

Mostly. Look, my sister had weird hobbies, we can't all be memetic masterpiece-generating internet sensations from the womb.

Yeah, they're all right. One of them's here, actually: Jade Harley. I think you two'd get on real well.

I guess I was just wondering how people make sure everyone's got enough research in their mitts to ensure they're making an informed decision. It's easy enough with Wart--[Who has now retreated to get used to his new form in peace]--'cause he's always got his ways of getting his opinions across, but what about, like, Gigantor?

[The Golett is sleeping at the moment, with Turkey Leg the Rufflet cradled carefully in her arms of clay.]

She'd go along with anything.

Real in the sense that they were physical entities that you could touch and not the fevered hallucination of a mass of sexually frustrated tweeny girls.

Whoah!

That's a living sword!

[She's even more convinced that Pokemon and spirits aren't too far removed. That is an actual living sword.]

That's so cool!

You know, I'm not totally sure 'living' is the word. She's part Ghost-type, and the PokéDex entry says these guys are, like, departed spirits that'll suck the life out of you if you touch their hilts wrong or something.

[Which just makes her cooler, obviously.]

I'm sure it's rewarding getting them to evolve.

Kagayaki has always been the happiest member of my team.

[So much pep.]

What's it mean? Kagayaki. Does her name mean anything?

It means "radiance", because of the color of her fur.

Edited 2016-01-16 03:11 (UTC)

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