5 ∅ [Anonymous Text]

[callbacks]

[You'd think Dave would have learned his lesson about anonymity, but maybe learning doesn't stick so well at ass in the morning when he can't sleep. At least it doesn't seem like he's really trying to mask his identity, here. It's just...a plausible deniability thing, maybe. Probably, given the content of his message.]

what was growing up like for you
like
how was your childhood
were you happy

Comments

[Text]

[monge]

...I don't think I've ever heard of that one before!! It sounds like pudding??

[Text]

[callbacks]

no its still like ice cream
but BETTER
you should see if they have it here or if they dont and youre feeling fancy i guess you could try gelato
they probably serve gelato somewhere
its italian

[Text]

[monge]

MONGE?!
Everyone keeps bringing up italians, I still don't understand what they are!!
But how can something be better than ice cream?!
I don't believe you!!
...I believe you a little.

[Text]

[callbacks]

if i find a frozen custard place i will hella let you know ok

[Text]

[monge]

I'm not sure what that means, but I'll go with you if you tell me!! :)

[Text]

[callbacks]

i dont know about that
i mean if im interested at all in maintaining the enigma of my identity id have to show up with a paper bag over my head
and its hard to eat frozen custard with a paper bag over your head

[Text]

[monge]

That's not true, you can make a little hole in it!!
I'll even help put the food in there for you, it'll be fun!

[Text]

[callbacks]

oh my god
im not sure weve met before but truly you are a prince among men
or possibly a princess among ladies
or some nonhuman nonbinary royalty of your choice

[Text]

[monge]

Oh...I'm not royalty, I'm just a dog.
...But thank you.
That was very nice.

[Text]

[callbacks]

then i can honestly say that you are one of the two goodest dogs ive ever met


does that mean you cant eat chocolate

[Text]

[monge]

What? I can eat chocolate, I could always eat chocolate. I don't understand this question.

But you've only met two dogs??? That's so sad... You know, there's dog Pokemon! I could show you some if you'd like, we can put eye holes in the bag!!

[Text]

[callbacks]

no ive met other dogs
but they were bad dogs
literally the worst

[Text]

[monge]

Only two good dogs out of all those dogs?!
That's awful!!
Do you need a hug? I'm qualified to give hugs now. I need to show you more dogs right away!!

[Text]

[callbacks]

qualified to give hugs?
is there like
a certification for that

[Text]

[monge]

Yeah I think so!
I just filled out the thing with what I'm good at
and the guy said I was "uniquely qualified"

[Text]

[callbacks]

what thing
dogg not gonna lie that sounds kind of sketch

[Text]

[monge]

It was a support network...

You...you think I'd make that up?

[Text]

[callbacks]

no i think someone asking you to fill out a thing telling you youre uniquely qualified for hugs might be shady depending on the circumstances
like
was it personal
did you feel unsafe

[Text]

[monge]

Um...no?

[Text]

[callbacks]

you just gotta be careful on the internet
you never know who youre talking to

[Text]

[monge]

Well...I know I'm talking to you right now!

[Text]

[callbacks]

yes
but do you have any idea who i am

[Text]

[monge]

I know you're nice!
I know you're willing to do a lot of work on your own time, that's very good!
I know you are willing to help me try new things even though you didn't have to
I know you think about your friends even though they have weird thoughts about cake
I know enough!

[Text]

[callbacks]

[What the fuck, HOW IS KOMASAN REAL?]

thats
real sweet of you to say
do you really want to go hang out and get ice cream

[Text]

[monge]

Yes, I will always get ice cream with anyone!!

...but I'm also traveling right now, I don't know when I'll be back.