[What's...that? He feels flustered, suddenly, and his automatic reaction is oh no that's me I'm projecting she's gonna notice! Time to cover it up, time to play it off; time to throw so many words at it even Dave forgets what he's talking about.]
I'm not gonna try teleporting, what if I fuck up? I have seen way too much sci-fi not to know what's gonna happen, I could turn inside out or end up like The Fly or land halfway inside a wall.
[Surely his embarrassment could be interpreted as embarrassment over being a fucking failure of a Psychic Pokémon. Surely this plan is as flawless as it is necessary.]
I can't risk it until I know exactly which half of me would end up inside a wall, Jade. I mean, can you imagine a universe deprived of this fine teenage ass? Tragedy. Millions weep.
[The mental equivalent of a surprised blink. ...Date? It's like the unexpected chiming of a distant bell or a fingernail against the glass, a notion not unpleasant but unlooked-for, too. He's...not sure what to do with that. Was that even her? Was it him?]
...I mean we could have a date too except then people are all hells gonna assume shit about your anthropomorphic interests.
[He means an ironic date like their before-Valentine's Sailormoon extravaganza, imagines Jade taking Wart down to the ice cream shop and sharing a Sunday with him. Adorable.]
[There's a sigh on the other end, it sounds like she's gotten up and is walking.]
I dated your sprite self, nobody would question if I was dating Pokemon you. John would probably be like "oh so you're dating Dave again, you'd better stay together this time."
[She means that as an ironic comment but there's a slight edge of annoyance. Not at Dave but at John and how he felt the need to rub it in that they broke up and it was the worst thing to happen to him.]
[There, that's a half-cough, half-throat-clearing noise in actual audible format rather than psychic overshare. The psychic overshare part though is all awkwardness, faintly amused, but underlain by a whisper of regret and jealousy, it's not fair.]
You meant dating-dating?
[Wait. That's not what he meant to say.]
I mean, well, shit, I don't know, Jade, whispering sweet nothings to a half-bird macaroni ghost is one thing, but are you really ready to commit to the whole bestiality enchilada? Bestchilada. Wait, that actually sounds good. What do you say to PokéMexican for our whateverdate.
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I'm not gonna try teleporting, what if I fuck up? I have seen way too much sci-fi not to know what's gonna happen, I could turn inside out or end up like The Fly or land halfway inside a wall.
[Surely his embarrassment could be interpreted as embarrassment over being a fucking failure of a Psychic Pokémon. Surely this plan is as flawless as it is necessary.]
I can't risk it until I know exactly which half of me would end up inside a wall, Jade. I mean, can you imagine a universe deprived of this fine teenage ass? Tragedy. Millions weep.
no subject
[...Oh god, don't think about Dave's ass! He can probably feel the burning blush through the Gear.]
A-anyway! Then I'll just come to you and we can date--um, have a play-date--um!! Shit, I don't know!
no subject
...I mean we could have a date too except then people are all hells gonna assume shit about your anthropomorphic interests.
[He means an ironic date like their before-Valentine's Sailormoon extravaganza, imagines Jade taking Wart down to the ice cream shop and sharing a Sunday with him. Adorable.]
no subject
[There's a sigh on the other end, it sounds like she's gotten up and is walking.]
I dated your sprite self, nobody would question if I was dating Pokemon you. John would probably be like "oh so you're dating Dave again, you'd better stay together this time."
[She means that as an ironic comment but there's a slight edge of annoyance. Not at Dave but at John and how he felt the need to rub it in that they broke up and it was the worst thing to happen to him.]
no subject
You meant dating-dating?
[Wait. That's not what he meant to say.]
I mean, well, shit, I don't know, Jade, whispering sweet nothings to a half-bird macaroni ghost is one thing, but are you really ready to commit to the whole bestiality enchilada? Bestchilada. Wait, that actually sounds good. What do you say to PokéMexican for our whateverdate.