[Oh fuck no. Karkat may not be fast or even very coordinated, but with Captive Prinplup already on his face and Dave in a significantly disadvantaged position, he just barely manages to swipe the book away in time and hold it just out of reach. Uh, for now. Dave's arms are still longer than his, but he's starting to sit up a little to try and compensate.]
This series was highly recommended! Shut the fuck up, Dave, it wasn't that bad.
[Except for the part where it's really not the kind of thing he'd read to Dave and especially not when his feelings for him are—it's just not something to read to Dave, okay?
His face is as red as it gets, at any rate, and he may just be contemplating hurling the offending book across the room if it weren't for the fact that he still wants to read it. Now that he knows exactly which book Wart had had picked for him, he's remembering how much blackrom potential he'd envisioned the first time he'd heard about it. It's written by a human, which probably means he's doomed for disappointment, but it's still his book, goddammit. End of literal story.]
Why were you looking at staff picks for romance?
[When in doubt, change the subject. Also, no he is not differentiating genre much besides romance and, uh, something about the rating. Because. He's seven sweeps old, this is normal.]
[Foiled, Dave just lets his arm flop back down across Karkat's shoulder and turns his face cheek-side to soft pajamas again. He is boneless as a fish fillet and feeling a lot better, if still painfully embarrassed and kind of brain-muzzy. Anyway, moving is stupid. Getting up is not a thing either of them should do, ever, obviously. He's not uncomfortable enough to remove himself from the space heater that is Karkat.]
Morbid curiosity, obviously. When do I ever pass up an opportunity to annihilate my own brain cells with the hottest new sewage, do you even know me.
[He taps one finger against the sheets for a second, then adds in a mumble:]
Also, I've been trying to help Penny with. Things. That's strictly off the record, though, okay.
[He trusts Karkat, of course, but he doesn't want to spread his friends' personal shit all over the goddamn place (except, of course, when it's hilarious, but this is not the case). But Dave would be flabbergasted if Karkat hasn't seen what's going on with D.J. Single Cent and her best friend, anyway. Completely gobsmacked.]
[Karkat is distracted and therefore not entirely up to speed, but with the game of keep away concluded already, he relaxes enough to focus on the conversation. Helping Penny with... ah.]
Things. Romance? Dave, are you—
[Snrrk, wait, hahaha oh god is he serious. Karkat is trying not to laugh, really he is, but a snicker escapes him anyway because holy fucking shit, Dave helping someone with their romantic troubles? As for Penny, well... yeah, it's kind of obvious what's going on there.]
Dave. Bro. Are you sure you got this? Because, okay, it's one quadrant, but human romance is still pretty fucking complicated.
[And Penny's... he's not sure, exactly, but he knows enough to worry.]
[Time to reach up again and push with embarrassed grumpiness on Karkat's face. Congratulations, Karkat, you are pale-dating an actual human feline.]
Um, fuck you kindly, dude, I know how human romance is supposed to work. [In a lower mutter:] Just 'cause I never dated a human...
[Grumbling, he puts his head back down on Karkat's chest and sighs.]
Look, she's just, like, sheltered to a stupid degree, okay? When we first talked about it, she didn't even know that that was a thing. I mean, girls being attracted to other girls. Nobody ever told her. So I can at least address the fucking basics, like, you know, that kind of shit being okay and probably wonderful, I don't know, I'm not a girl who's attracted to other girls, it's a little outside my realm of experience.
[But someone's gotta be Rose around here, and he's genetically the closest thing they've got.
Besides, he may not be a girl attracted to other girls, but...well, anyway.]
And it's not some huge travail for me to glance through the gay YA shelf to find books that don't paint same-sex romance as some kind of, I dunno, end of the world huge deal, I guess. I'm just making sure she doesn't run into discouraging shit, I'm not priming her to be sassy girl teen human Casanova or anything. I can handle that much.
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This series was highly recommended! Shut the fuck up, Dave, it wasn't that bad.
[Except for the part where it's really not the kind of thing he'd read to Dave and especially not when his feelings for him are—it's just not something to read to Dave, okay?
His face is as red as it gets, at any rate, and he may just be contemplating hurling the offending book across the room if it weren't for the fact that he still wants to read it. Now that he knows exactly which book Wart had had picked for him, he's remembering how much blackrom potential he'd envisioned the first time he'd heard about it. It's written by a human, which probably means he's doomed for disappointment, but it's still his book, goddammit. End of literal story.]
Why were you looking at staff picks for romance?
[When in doubt, change the subject. Also, no he is not differentiating genre much besides romance and, uh, something about the rating. Because. He's seven sweeps old, this is normal.]
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[Foiled, Dave just lets his arm flop back down across Karkat's shoulder and turns his face cheek-side to soft pajamas again. He is boneless as a fish fillet and feeling a lot better, if still painfully embarrassed and kind of brain-muzzy. Anyway, moving is stupid. Getting up is not a thing either of them should do, ever, obviously. He's not uncomfortable enough to remove himself from the space heater that is Karkat.]
Morbid curiosity, obviously. When do I ever pass up an opportunity to annihilate my own brain cells with the hottest new sewage, do you even know me.
[He taps one finger against the sheets for a second, then adds in a mumble:]
Also, I've been trying to help Penny with. Things. That's strictly off the record, though, okay.
[He trusts Karkat, of course, but he doesn't want to spread his friends' personal shit all over the goddamn place (except, of course, when it's hilarious, but this is not the case). But Dave would be flabbergasted if Karkat hasn't seen what's going on with D.J. Single Cent and her best friend, anyway. Completely gobsmacked.]
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[Karkat is distracted and therefore not entirely up to speed, but with the game of keep away concluded already, he relaxes enough to focus on the conversation. Helping Penny with... ah.]
Things. Romance? Dave, are you—
[Snrrk, wait, hahaha oh god is he serious. Karkat is trying not to laugh, really he is, but a snicker escapes him anyway because holy fucking shit, Dave helping someone with their romantic troubles? As for Penny, well... yeah, it's kind of obvious what's going on there.]
Dave. Bro. Are you sure you got this? Because, okay, it's one quadrant, but human romance is still pretty fucking complicated.
[And Penny's... he's not sure, exactly, but he knows enough to worry.]
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Um, fuck you kindly, dude, I know how human romance is supposed to work. [In a lower mutter:] Just 'cause I never dated a human...
[Grumbling, he puts his head back down on Karkat's chest and sighs.]
Look, she's just, like, sheltered to a stupid degree, okay? When we first talked about it, she didn't even know that that was a thing. I mean, girls being attracted to other girls. Nobody ever told her. So I can at least address the fucking basics, like, you know, that kind of shit being okay and probably wonderful, I don't know, I'm not a girl who's attracted to other girls, it's a little outside my realm of experience.
[But someone's gotta be Rose around here, and he's genetically the closest thing they've got.
Besides, he may not be a girl attracted to other girls, but...well, anyway.]
And it's not some huge travail for me to glance through the gay YA shelf to find books that don't paint same-sex romance as some kind of, I dunno, end of the world huge deal, I guess. I'm just making sure she doesn't run into discouraging shit, I'm not priming her to be sassy girl teen human Casanova or anything. I can handle that much.