callbacks | 4 ∅ [Video]

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4 ∅ [Video]

[The video starts on an unsure-looking Kirlia. He starts to edge away, but Dave--apparently behind the camera--speaks.]

Naw, go ahead, dude. C'mon. Don't be shy.

[The Kirlia sighs, extremely put upon, and then ballet-toes back into place. There's a Dawn Stone on the floor nearby; the Kirlia bends primly at the waist to pick it up, and:

Presto.

Wart the Gallade examines his arm-blades for a moment, then shoots Dave a look as if to say, "If we're quite done now." Dave chuckles quietly.]

Yeah, yeah, thanks for humoring me, bro. The moment has been secured for posterity. Duty discharged. [The relief on the Gallade's face is palpable before Dave turns the camera towards his own movie star mug. Hello, Johto.]

So, hey. I get that baby's first evolution is probably ancient headwear for most of you, but he's the first guy I got all the way to his final form. That's worth some kind of jokey home video.

[Yeah, because he's obviously being ironic about this. He's not Proud Dadding all over his starter, no sirree.]

Anyway, I've been hearing about a bunch of different evolutionary paths our Poképals can take, and, I dunno. I'm curious, I guess. If you ever made a choice like that, what made you pick one way or the other?

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Yeah, me neither. Also he probably has a Pokémon pun name here, I don't know.

[Also Dave is talking out of his ass.]

If staying the same didn't bug your trainer, would you still want to? Like, I get that you're fine that way, I'm just interested in what you guys think of the whole deal so I'm asking all the angles.

... Probably. The benefits outweigh the disadvantages, if I didn't have a trainer. I admit he knows how to work around such things, even if he seems an idiot sometimes.

Holy shit.

[Dave's eyebrows shoot up over the tops of his shades. He is impressed. That is a whole lot of scaly sea serpent at once, Jesus Christ. And of course Anna just rolls with it like he's the cutest little thing.]

That grew up out of a fish?

Oh yeah, I mean, I totally would not be down about growing entire new body parts out of nowhere, I'm not about that life.

[He suddenly thinks of Davesprite and bites his tongue. Oops.]

Well, not unless I had to, I guess.

So he's a strategy guy? When it comes to battling, anyway, I guess.

Yes. His tactics may sometimes be unorthodox, but he saves most of those for opponents who he claims deserve no honor. More of the time he studies type matchups and pushes us to train what we're best at so as to cover each other.

[ THAT'S BECAUSE HE IS THE CUTEST LITTLE THING, GOSH ]

Not just any fish, the tiniest little fish! The poor guy couldn't even swim when I first found him, but I had to have him! And I had no idea he'd turn into something like this, but that just made it crazy when it happened! Like, isn't he awesome?!

[ Seriously, this Gyarados is her baby, despite how massive it is. ]

I have a lot of Dragons and big, huge strong Pokemon, but Gyarados is very special!

Uh, what do you mean by unorthodox? Like the sly, cheaty kind of unorthodox, or the cool, making creative use of your environment unorthodox? Because one of those is more awesome than the other.

Girl, he is off the walls batshit nuts is what he is. There ain't a number for how much ass he kicks, even without the proper appendage appended what with to kick with. But, uh.

[...]

How does a fish not know how to swim.

I'll be honest, it was a little bit sad. He just...sat in a shallow pond and flopped around.

I'm pretty sure the Pokedex says that it's the weakest Pokemon, which is insulting enough, but then it goes on to say that the fact that the species even survived this long is more or less proof that magic and miracles exist.

...Which is incredibly rude, if you ask me.

[ Even if it is true. ]

Right. But even if you knew it was happening, I imagine it would be pretty startling...

[... Man, now is probably not the time to dwell on that stuff. LET'S... NOT, THEN....]

But even if they're not afraid of such things, I'd still be happy to respect their wishes to avoid evolving.

Yeah, if any of them made it known to me that they're not into something, I wouldn't do it. I, like...they're their own people pretty much, I'm just along for the ride, anyway. I wouldn't even battle them except they want to.

[And Dave...does not, actually.]

[The Pokemon visibly hesitates for a minute.]

Both. Usually the latter. Sometimes the former, but not very often.

Haha, wow. The Pokédex is one saucy motherfucker. But also, yeah, super discourteous, shame on it.

[Nice burn, Professor Oak. Or whoever's in charge of Pokédex entries.]

So...you just gave him a chance, huh? And it really paid off.

As long as he's selective, I guess.

[Bro, you're not supposed to admit it.]

You're cool with that? Fighting like that.

Well, yeah! I always gotta help out the little guys, right? It's part of my job as a princess to make sure everyone in the kingdom feels really appreciated, like they're pulling their weight and doing their part to make it the best kingdom it can be. I try to make sure my Pokemon feel like that, too, that no matter how big or small they are, they're still worth a lot.

And, well, that little fish in the pond really needed that. Most Gyaradoses are really aggressive, honestly. I assume it's because most people treat them so badly as Magikarps, and they're so short with them that something just sort of clicks when they evolve...so, well, I did something right, at least.

[Hey he's not the one who calls the shots.]

It is a creative use of abilities. It took some training to deal with short-range teleports, and for the Onix in our party to learn where to position herself for explosions.

Oh gosh, what a pretty Pokémon! Tell him I think he's super cute, okay?

[Nowi leans back a bit in the chair she's sitting in while she considers Dave's question.]

You know, I've thought about getting an Eevee, but I'm always super worried about that! What if I make the wrong decision? What if he or she doesn't want to be the form I want them to be? I mean, I'd totally ask them first before just doing it, but like... it's so complicated!

I haven't had to worry about that yet though, luckily!

Congratulations! I remember Eddie reaching his final stage, he was pretty excited about it!

[Speaking of, the Luxray noses his head up under Al's arm to look at the screen, and Al laughs and scratches him between the ears before continuing.]

If there's ever an option of what they can evolve into, I let my Pokemon decide what they want to do. It doesn't seem fair to do it any other way, you know?

Explosions?

[Dave looks off-screen to see if Wart caught that. The answer is apparently yes, because Dave offers Nowi a slim grin and a thumbs-up. Message received. Wart is probably blushing out of frame. Dave nods and returns to the conversation.]

Yeah, I've got one of those, which is part of why I'm asking. But he's a baby so I can't exactly put the question to him, or even convey the concept of what passes for evolution in this universe. He'd just blink at me and make baby animal noises, which, you know. Cute, but not totally helpful towards the subject at hand.

Yeah, but how do you put it to them? Have like a strategy pow-wow, discuss costs and benefits, make some kind of graphic representation? Or do they just, like...always know what they want to be?

I never thought about it like that. Being a princess and stuff, I mean. Like, I know what royalty's supposed to do and all re: the running of the enormous geopolitical mess we call a country, but I never heard it put into those kinds of terms.

[You know. The Disney kinds of terms.]

I guess it really...the stuff you do when they're little really matters, if you made that big a difference for the guy.

It's a pretty fun job at the end of the day, honestly, even if it is a lot of responsibility.

[ The serious queenly stuff, she can leave to Elsa. Anna's got the Disney attitude on lock. ]

Isn't that the case with everybody, though? The things that happen when you're growing up have an effect on the person you become. That's just how life is, y'know?

Oh, same here. [She laughs.] I was perfectly content with just letting Anna handle all of the battling, but my friends really seemed to want to get involved in it.

And it was a good thing, in the end. They seem a lot happier, being able to grow like that.

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