4 ∅ [Video]

[callbacks]

[The video starts on an unsure-looking Kirlia. He starts to edge away, but Dave--apparently behind the camera--speaks.]

Naw, go ahead, dude. C'mon. Don't be shy.

[The Kirlia sighs, extremely put upon, and then ballet-toes back into place. There's a Dawn Stone on the floor nearby; the Kirlia bends primly at the waist to pick it up, and:

Presto.

Wart the Gallade examines his arm-blades for a moment, then shoots Dave a look as if to say, "If we're quite done now." Dave chuckles quietly.]

Yeah, yeah, thanks for humoring me, bro. The moment has been secured for posterity. Duty discharged. [The relief on the Gallade's face is palpable before Dave turns the camera towards his own movie star mug. Hello, Johto.]

So, hey. I get that baby's first evolution is probably ancient headwear for most of you, but he's the first guy I got all the way to his final form. That's worth some kind of jokey home video.

[Yeah, because he's obviously being ironic about this. He's not Proud Dadding all over his starter, no sirree.]

Anyway, I've been hearing about a bunch of different evolutionary paths our Poképals can take, and, I dunno. I'm curious, I guess. If you ever made a choice like that, what made you pick one way or the other?

Comments

[callbacks]

I mean, if he's not naturally a jokey guy, he shouldn't try to clown up on something that's only gonna fall flat when he actually makes a play. You gotta own your shit when you put yourself out there like that, I know that much.

Also, wait. You know trolls?

[loveisanopendoor]

Yeah, that's true. But I do think that a joke or two here and there couldn't hurt! I mean, everyone loves puns, right? You don't have to be a super-funny-guy to ask why the Torchic crossed the road, after all.

We have them back in Arendelle, though. There's a whole, huge family of them that lives in the mountains...they've apparently had a good relationship with the royal family for a long time. They've helped me out of a tight spot before.

...Not that I remember it, because they took my goshdarn memory of it, but...

[callbacks]

Wait, I thought trolls didn't do family the way we do, on account of them all popping out of the Mother Grub before they pupate. Karkat and Kanaya made it sound like a pretty big deal...

[loveisanopendoor]

Wait, what? What the heck is the Mother Grub? I mean, it certainly sounds like one of those kinda skeevy trolly things, but...that's not something I've ever heard of.

The ones I know are very big on family, though. Like, almost a little too big, if that's possible. And apparently they're love experts? But I don't know if I necessarily buy that.

[ She won't lie, it was...a little uncomfortable. Seeing as though, like, she was literally dying and they were trying to push her with a guy.

Good hearts, but God, can they be strange. ]

[callbacks]

I.

[???]

I mean, Karkat's definitely described himself as a love expert, or at least an expert on troll love quadrants, but actually he didn't know what the fuck he was doing ever? At least, as far as I could tell. But as far as I know, the only things they really have that's close to how we think of family are their lususes, which, I mean. They didn't seem that broken up about.

[loveisanopendoor]

What on earth is a lusus..? D-do I want to know?

[callbacks]

You know, like their animal...janitor...parent things.

Maybe I'm pronouncing it wrong.

[loveisanopendoor]

The trolls I've seen don't have anything like that, I don't think...

[callbacks]

Are we talking about the same thing? Bipedal grey guys, orange horns, come from space?

[loveisanopendoor]

They're grey and bipedal, but they don't have horns...I mean, they could come from space, I don't know for sure! But they, uh, they turn into rocks and stuff?

[callbacks]

That's definitely not a thing Karkat can do. I guess probably you're talking about real mythological trolls, and not--

[...]

Wow, okay, the words "real mythological trolls" just came out of my face in seriousness, I probably need to lie face-down on the ground now and never speak again.

[loveisanopendoor]

Look, my world is a little weird, I can at least admit to that...

[ Not quite Homestuck weird, but, y'know. ]

I basically come from fairy-tale-princess land, I've grown to accept it!

[callbacks]

I mean, it's definitely not as weird as my world. But maybe that's because my world's got fairy tale princess stories in it, so I'm at least used to the concept.

And, anyway, I dunno if anything beats this world in the unreal bizarreness category.

[loveisanopendoor]

I kinda like it, though! Like, yeah, it's pretty crazy, but it's got this charm about it, y'know? It's really silly, but just enough to make you kind of really appreciate it.

[callbacks]

Yeah, it's weird in like, a harmless kiddie way. Not complaining. Time to let my inner five-year-old off his toddler leash, no problem.

[loveisanopendoor]

Yeah, I'm sure compared to the space shenanigans you're used to this is pretty much straight up fun and excitement for days, huh?

It's just a really fun place to be. Between everyone here and the Pokemon...you could get used to it, right? This coming from someone who's, like, apparently got every girl's dream job...

[callbacks]

What, being a princess? The girls I know, they'd rather be physicists, world-famous celebrity authors, or dragons, pretty sure.

[loveisanopendoor]

That's one heck of an ambitious bunch you've got there...

[callbacks]

Yeah, they're all right. One of them's here, actually: Jade Harley. I think you two'd get on real well.