6 ∅ [Video]
[There's a bright little bird...lizard thing minding its own business on a branch, cleaning its feathers and looking around with puzzled curiosity. The owner of the PokéGear sets it standing in the fork of the tree and then starts to creep up the branch with hands and knees, trying to keep his breath quiet. He's a kid, small, small enough for the branch to hold his weight, but it dips and the Archen notices him. As one, they freeze, and then both leap at once, the Archen away and the boy towards it, in a crush of squawking and leaves and confusion.
The PokéGear falls, too, thudding to the grass amid the cries of Pokémon, and it's hard to tell what's happened for a minute until a Gallade comes to pick it up. He's balancing a four-year-old blond boy on his hip while a Togetic hovers in dismay, everyone dusty from the fall, but the kid squirms in the Gallade's hold and beams without smiling from behind his very familiar shades. Proud and apparently unhurt, Dave holds up a PokéBall towards the 'Gear.]
I caughted it.
[Wart the Gallade turns the camera to his own desperate, exasperated, bewildered face.]
Help me.
((Kiddo Dave replies will come from![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
knightoftimeout!))
The PokéGear falls, too, thudding to the grass amid the cries of Pokémon, and it's hard to tell what's happened for a minute until a Gallade comes to pick it up. He's balancing a four-year-old blond boy on his hip while a Togetic hovers in dismay, everyone dusty from the fall, but the kid squirms in the Gallade's hold and beams without smiling from behind his very familiar shades. Proud and apparently unhurt, Dave holds up a PokéBall towards the 'Gear.]
I caughted it.
[Wart the Gallade turns the camera to his own desperate, exasperated, bewildered face.]
Help me.
((Kiddo Dave replies will come from
knightoftimeout!))
[action]
[Which is, of course, why Dave would even obtain a sentient pool noodle in the first place.
He stumbles once but rights himself quickly with his free arm. He barely ends up pulling on Karkat at all. Like he knows better than to expect support from any quarter.]
Anyway, I dunneed a...a rionic part for naming the dinobird. The nugget part, that's lots rionic. But it's gotta be Something Nugget. Something cool. Cool McNugget. But cooler.
[action]
[What even is pasta? No, wait, he doesn't care. He does care if Dave falls over, though, and he jerks to a halt when the other stumbles, radiating concern even if he's obviously totally fine. First the tree, now this, what is wrong with the grubs of this species, do they have no survival instincts at all? Not that trolls are, uh, really much better, but still.
... And he would have loved to get moving again after that, but then Dave mispronounces that word, of all possible words and Karkat is pretty sure he's going to die from pity overload. How. How. It was bad enough when he was just tiny, but a Dave who can't even say the word "ironic" is—is—oh god, it's the most ironic thing ever, he thinks he might puke, but more importantly, he is not going to let anything happen to this poor, stupid, precious child and he cannot be held accountable at all for whatever he winds up doing when Dave is back to normal and it won't be fucking weird as shit to think of him in any quadrant. Not that. Uh. Fuck.
Karkat pinches the bridge of his nose, attempts to count silently to ten, and gives up somewhere around one. How the fuck is he going to get through this?]
Yeah. Yeah, okay. Whatever you want. [He's so screwed.] So, what, like... any cool word? Or do you want a word like "Lazer" with a Z because humans are fucking bizarre and think deliberately misspelling words makes them cooler.
[Or rather "Lazor."
holy fuck i'm old THIS CAME OUT IN 2002 HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE][action]
A cool word! A real cool word. Not like a misspellsed one, then how can anyone tell it's cool 'less they read it?
[DUUUUHHHHH. Dave calms down a little and starts walking along again.]
Should be a time word, pro'lly, 'cause on account of being a dinosaur. It's pro'lly like...a gazillion years old.
[He considers this, then notes sagely:]
So like, at least two bazillion sweeps.
[action]
Karkat sighs faintly as Dave prattles on, more relieved than he'll ever admit that at least the mindless blather erupting from his ignorance spout is familiar. Only Dave could be this pointlessly annoying.]
Age. Epoch. [
you know, like epic as in awesome as in cool HA HA HA no] Era. Eon. Aeon, if you want to be really fucking pretentious. Wait, your planet isn't even that old, is it?[How much is a bazillion. Is that even a word. Why is he expecting rational responses from a miniature version of Dave, that's stupidity on a level that... is probably typical of Past Karkat in general. Never fucking mind.]
[action]
Dave listens intently as Karkat lists off terms, looking up at him like he's giving every word the gravest consideration. Like he's giving Karkat the gravest consideration. He faces forward again, tilting his head first to this side then the other like the ideas have to literally roll around in his brain before he can make a decision. First, though:]
Earth is lots old. Like...a plazillion. Like, like five plazillions. How much is a aeon?
[He looks up again, still walking briskly to keep up with those longer legs.]
[action]
... Although, uh. How long is an aeon? Goddammit, Dave, he's a knight not a geologist.]
A... really fucking long time. Maybe a plazilion, fuck if I know.
[Karkat's absolutely convinced now that Dave is making those words up. There's no way they can be real.]
[action]
That one! Aeon McNugget the dinobird. Yes.
[Skippity hop. The Child is Appeased. Da na na naaaa, miniquest complete! ...Haha, MINIquest.
Dave looks up again, happy.]
Can you write it down for me at the Burger Slowking? I don't wanna forget afore I get big again.
[action]
He tries a very small, tight smile in response, but he gives up fairly quickly and refocuses on getting them to their destination. Are they there yet? Oh god, where even is Burger Slowking?]
Yeah, I'll write it down.
[And. Wait. What. He glances sharply back at Dave.]
Do people usually forget what the fuck happened when they're changed into... whatever?
[He's seriously beginning to regret not looking into this before now.]
[action]
Uh-uh. Don't think so. 'S just...I'm four.
[It feels weird to be that self-aware about it, but he remembers knowing a lot more crap than he knows now. He wants to suck on his fingers, but both his hands are occupied, and he huffs.]
'S hard to remmber shit. 'M too little.
[action]
Then just let me know if I need to remember anything for you, okay? Or write it down for later.
[He's trying to keep his tone light, but surprise! He really, really fucking sucks at it.]
[action]
[He gives Karkat's hand a bitty squeeze. Come on, dude, it's okay, he remembers you.
Maybe he'll remember better with snacks and lollipops, but he's good either way.]
[action]
... But, for now, he is getting Burger Slowking. Wonder of wonders, the scenery had whooshed past while they had their little stroll, and what should they be arriving at the entrance of at this very moment but that same fine dining establishment. Prepare your tastebuds for the most divine culinary adventure ever to come from mass-produced, packaged, and reheated pseudo meat-like "burgers" of mysterious origin. Maybe they're appearified in? We just don't know.]
Do you remember the menu? It would just fucking figure if you remembered their menu. Or, uh, I guess I could pick you up so you can re—look at the pictures.
[He is doomed.]
[action]
Up!
[He finally puts McNugget's ball away in his hoodie pocket and lets go of Karkat's hand, only to lift both his arms. Scooooooore.
(He does, actually, remember the menu. Besides, there are only, what, three options for kids? It's not like he's being offered a paralyzing amount of Choice.)
He briefly rises onto the balls of his feet, as if that'll help at all.]
Pick me up, Katkat.
[bro do u even lift]
[action]
He bends to pick Dave up and oh dear god what does this child eat. He's stubbornly going to keep at it but wow, maybe he should have thought this through first.
Momentarily(?), Karkat emerges triumphant(?) with a small child held more or less securely in his arms, in sort of maybe good range to see the menu. He chances a few steps closer, adjusts his hold on Dave, and takes a peek at what's available himself.]
So. What do you want?
[action]
Either way, Dave is thrilled with this turn of events. His mouth is turned up in a genuine little smile, all :>>>>. He'd probably be squirming happily if that wouldn't make Karkat's life far more difficult than it has to be.
He scans the offerings with bright interest, then points.]
Cheeseburger Kid's Meal. [For breakfast, Dave? Apparently. But he's still looking, and he takes a tiny breath in and risks looking down at Karkat. A little more shyly, he points at something else.] And, and French toast sticks?
[Or 'Kalosian' toast sticks, but you know, he can't read.]
We can share.