6 ∅ [Video]

[callbacks]

[There's a bright little bird...lizard thing minding its own business on a branch, cleaning its feathers and looking around with puzzled curiosity. The owner of the PokéGear sets it standing in the fork of the tree and then starts to creep up the branch with hands and knees, trying to keep his breath quiet. He's a kid, small, small enough for the branch to hold his weight, but it dips and the Archen notices him. As one, they freeze, and then both leap at once, the Archen away and the boy towards it, in a crush of squawking and leaves and confusion.

The PokéGear falls, too, thudding to the grass amid the cries of Pokémon, and it's hard to tell what's happened for a minute until a Gallade comes to pick it up. He's balancing a four-year-old blond boy on his hip while a Togetic hovers in dismay, everyone dusty from the fall, but the kid squirms in the Gallade's hold and beams without smiling from behind his very familiar shades. Proud and apparently unhurt, Dave holds up a PokéBall towards the 'Gear.]

I caughted it.

[Wart the Gallade turns the camera to his own desperate, exasperated, bewildered face.]

Help me.

((Kiddo Dave replies will come from knightoftimeout!))

Comments

video

[dosomethingslacker]

Oh holy shit.

[WHAT IS HAPPENING, FIRST CHURCH NOW THIS. This is the start of a bad week.]

Dave, hey where are you at.

[Wart, help him out.]

video

[knightoftimeout]

[Does he recognize Tucker? It's hard to tell. The kid emotes even less now, somehow.]

Outside.

[With a stressed mental sigh almost like static, Wart sends Tucker a brief impression: top of Route 34, very close still to Goldenrod.]

[dosomethingslacker]

Christ.

[THANKS WART YOU'RE A PAL. The background of his video goes by as Tucker starts making his way through the city to get there.]

How'd you get up there anyway?

[knightoftimeout]

Climbed. I'm good at climbing.

[As if to prove it, he tries to pull himself up higher on Wart's shoulders, but the Gallade just bounces him a little and resettles him on his hip. Poor thing's doing his best, but this is way beyond him, and his psychic voice is pretty strained.]

Please hurry. He's not supposed to be this small.

[dosomethingslacker]

Yea, no kidding, Wart. Almost there.

[Fuck the last kid he was really around was Junior and somehow he gets the idea the stuff they did for Junior won't work on Dave? For one thing Dave's half the size Junior was when the alien was just born.

Fuck it he'll figure it out. He's almost there now anyway.]

Hey, Dave, chill for a second all right?

[knightoftimeout]

'M always chill. The chillessest.

[He mumbles it, though, and turns away to start playing with the Pokéball in his hands, rubbing his fingers over the shiny surface, because he knows 'chill' to be code for 'fuck off for a second, Dave, I'm busy.' Which he's apparently okay with honoring. Wart's the one closer to panic, here.]

What do I do? I didn't know humans even came this small, they're not supposed to get starters until they're much older. Ten? I don't even know how old he is now, is he a baby? Is this what human babies look like? Are human babies supposed to be jumping out of trees?

-> action

[dosomethingslacker]

Wart, slow down, all right, it'll be fine. Ask him how old he is.

Coming up on you now, I can probably take it from there.

[Because it's hard to miss a giant ass Gallade there with a kid on its hip even looming in the distance. Why does this kind of shit always happen to him?

He gets up to them, barely broken a sweat because thanks Wash and looks them over. Jeez Dave is tiny.]

Hey.

[video]

[quadrangle]

[The pixellation had been one thing. He'd been sort of okay with the pixellation because how the fuck else is someone from a video game supposed to react (spoilers: he'd lost his shit anyway), but seeing Dave of all people transformed into a human wiggler and throwing himself out of trees is so far from being okay that the resulting apoplexy actually manages to render him speechless.

It doesn't last long.]

DAVE, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET THERE?

[And how did he not notice? How the fuck did someone LITERALLY LIVING WITH THIS ASSHOLE not notice him losing half his height and three quarters of his vocabulary? Or more? Or oh fuck what if Dave doesn't even remember him, had he fully reverted? Fuck fuck fuck fuck f u c k, what kind of moirail just lets this happen, like his other failures weren't enough—

If either Dave or Wart are even paying attention at this point, they're definitely going to notice Karkat's surroundings streaking past while the troll all but sprints to the nearest physical location that even passingly resembles where Dave had been transmitting from. Outdoors, tree, Torchic and Gallade nearby, where the fuck is he?]

[video]

[knightoftimeout]

[Both Wart and Dave cringe away from the PokéGear for a second. Thanks, Karkat, it's not like they need their hearing or anything. Dave rubs his ear with a grumpy huff.]

Uh, I walked? Duh, Katkat.

[Wart shares the mental equivalent of a sigh on the cusp of exasperation and very real freaking out with Karkat and sends him a handful of place-impressions leading to Dave's tree. Along with it comes the explanation: Dave woke up early, found nothing he wanted to eat in his food stash, and toddled out in search of greener pastures and tastier comestibles before getting distracted by the Archen.]

[video -> action maybe??]

[quadrangle]

[Between Merope and "Katkat," it's a wonder either of them even notice anymore. Also, what the fuck, stop calling him "Katkat." He's too worried to actually snap this, but consider it implied as he alters course to match Wart's silent directions and gives Dave a dirty look on principle. Still sprinting, by the way, even if that makes turning his full lung capacity to the task of shouting at his moirail inordinately difficult. ]

Why... didn't you... wake me... up?!

[His voice is low and furious, which naturally does fuckall at concealing his worry. Had Dave just not realized he should say something before taking off? That has to be it, right? And, fuck, he will bribe this piece of shit with every Happiny Meal toy in existence if it keeps him from wandering away again, why hadn't he trusted him?

Expect Karkat to come skidding into view at whatever point in time is reasonable for however the fuck far away Dave is, by the way. He may also stop a moment to catch his breath because, yeah, he has learned absolutely nothing about the consequences of running full tilt somewhere just to yell at people.]

[video -> action totally]

[knightoftimeout]

[Dave starts to answer the question, but then seems to notice he doesn't have an answer. Slowly, as the realization trickles in that he has Done a Bad, his gaze slips away from the camera, aside and down, until he just sticks his fingers in his mouth and stares at the ground and says nothing until Karkat's arrival.

Even then, he still doesn't speak for a moment, just clinging to Wart like a baby possum even when he makes to put Dave down. When he finally pipes up, it's tiny and quiet and spoken mostly towards Wart's shoulder.]

Sorry.

[Wart looks from Dave to Karkat and back with painful sympathy. Oh no, he's so small. Dave does squirm to be let down, then, and when he does he shuffles towards Karkat and then holds up his ball.]

Do...do you want my bird?

[action]

[quadrangle]

[He is extremely little, yes, so much so that Karkat is stealing incredulous glances at him in between wheezing like a fucking loser. If it weren't for his own firsthand and wholly lamentable experience shifting species, he'd be finding this impossible to process... or not, considering fucking Sgrub and everything about it. It's still Dave, though, and egregious asshattery like this is not supposed to happen to Dave and especially not when Karkat's supposed to be looking after him. Yeah, fine, he might not have been able to stop the spontaneous age regression, but getting loose and probably lost with only Wart for company? Wart is more capable than he thinks he is, but goddammit, how could Karkat have let it reach this point? Dave isn't injured, is he?

He straightens, then thinks better of it and crouches down so he can look the tiny human in the shades. He still looks upset, but any anger lingering in his expression is definitely not directed toward this. Really small person. Really small, cute person. God, those sunglasses look even stupider on him at this size, why is that endearing.]

It's okay. Keep the bird, Dave. I just... fuck.

[He glances at Wart, then back again. Under normal circumstances, he'd have thought Dave was asking just to fuck with him, but again, he is tiny and who even knows how much being this little is affecting his psyche? Annnnnnd that's probably a stupid question to ask when there's a psychic type Pokémon right there, isn't it? Or should he be asking Dave? Would Dave even know? God, someone just kill him, please, he cannot fucking deal with this situation.]

... You're hungry, right?

[It's the safest question he can think to ask and, if the intel from Wart is right, probably the most relevant. Food is simple. He can provide Dave with food. The other shit is... he'll get to that. Maybe? Fuck.]

[action]

[knightoftimeout]

[Dave holds the Pokéball to his chest again when Karkat assures him he doesn't want it. Even at this age, he can keep the relief off his face, but it's still palpable enough in the air around him to show that, yeah, he didn't really want to give up his cool new dinobird--but that he would've, if Karkat wanted him to.

He considers the question, rolling the ball a tiny bit between his hands. When he nods, it's a little unsure, like he thinks this is the kind of question he can get wrong. Like it's a test.]

I want...

[He stops again, watching Karkat, and Wart shifts his weight from foot to foot. Whatever's going on in Dave's head, Wart's still on edge with the change. He has even less experience than Karkat with people turning into larvae, god damn.

Anyway, Dave decides Karkat's a safe enough bet to continue.]

I wanna go to Burger Slowking.

[It's not a request, not a demand. Just a statement, carefully offered. Dave waits, watching.]

[harlequinhater]

[At first, John doesn't really think much of the fact that there's some kid trying to catch a dino-bird. But then it strikes him that this kid looks awfully familiar... And his suspicions are confirmed when Dave's Gallade suddenly comes onto the screen.]

Oh shit, is that Dave? Where are you? And Wart, you can't just let kids climb trees like that! Their brains are still soft and malleable and stuff! He could get hurt!

Also, what happened?

[Since last thing John remembers, Dave was a normal teenager that was a normal teenager size. He definitely would have remembered him shrinking.]

[knightoftimeout]

He didn't ask me if he could climb the tree, John! And he seemed to know what he was doing? I AM NOT A CERTIFIED CHILDCARE ASSISTANT POKÉMON, JOHN. HELP. ME.

[Oh god, Wart's finally cracking under the pressure. He was not trained for this, this is not in Being a Starter Pokémon for Goomies.

Dave, on the other hand, seems completely unfazed.]

Your brains is soft and malleable, buttnerd. I caughted a Pokémon. [He presses the ball protectively to his little chest.] A cool Pokémon. The coolest.

[harlequinhater]

Okay, that's nice, Dave. I am glad that you managed to catch a Pokemon despite being in a frail child body.

Now where are you? Because you clearly need some adult supervision!

[If nothing else, somebody needs to come and take care of him before he gives his dear Pokemon an aneurysm.]

[knightoftimeout]

...You're not a adult. You're just John.

[harlequinhater]

I'm almost an adult! And you know what, I think some countries count seventeen as being an adult.

Anyways, I'm older than you are, and I don't have a mushy kid brain. That's the important thing here!

[knightoftimeout]

[Wart's already beaming directions into John's brain, but Dave digs his metaphorical little heels in.]

You're not seventeen. I'm sev...seventeen.

[video]

[in4apounding]

Sal-u-tations! ...sir?

[There's a lot she doesn't understand right now. But there's a... knightly alien thing? Asking for help over her scroll, so questions can wait.]

Do you require assistance?

[video]

[knightoftimeout]

Oh, thank god. Penny, hey, do you know anything about--

[Dave interposes himself between the camera and Wart, reaching out to take hold of the PokéGear with one hand to steady it.]

What...what's a, a salad tation?

Re: [video]

[in4apounding]

That is a VERY good question, young man! "Salutations" is a greeting, or way of saying "hello!" My name is Penny, it's a pleasure to meet you! What's-

[Hang on, there was something important there.]

Wait, did your...

[Companion? Bodyguard? Interspecies adoptive parent?]

...friend know my name already?

[A sudden, thoroughly overdramatic gasp as she leans in close to the camera, eyes wide and curious.]

Is he PSYCHIC?

[video]

[knightoftimeout]

[Dave and Wart exchange a look. After a moment, Wart looks at the 'Gear again and ventures a tentative--]

Yes...? Yes. I'm a Psychic-type.

Re: [video]

[in4apounding]

That is absolutely AMAZING!

[And then a long, inquisitive stare, complete with tilted head.]

...A psychic type of WHAT, exactly? You don't look like any Faunus I'VE ever seen.

[video]

[knightoftimeout]

[Wart just looks even more baffled, but Dave pats his chest to get his attention and sits up to whisper into his ear. Or. Whatever those things on the sides of his head are.]

...Ah. I'm a Pokémon. We're the, uh...animals here. I've been told to tell you this is not part of Remnant.