Voicemail

[callbacks]

text . voice . video . action

Please note the date and time of day for me!

Comments

[text]

[awesmazings]

okay well um
you dont think that some peoples fears are weird

do you?

[text]

[callbacks]

well

[Okay. His best friend for thirteen years of his life was John "BETTY CROCKER IS THE FOOD DEVIL" Egbert. There's an honest answer, and there's a tactful answer.]

no of course not
theres legitimate reasons for all that shit
why

[text]

[awesmazings]

well
Iiiii dont talk bout it much but i felt like i needed to tell SOMEBODY today so
I wanted to tell you about...mine
cause youre my friend and i trust u
but you gotta promise not to laugh

[text]

[callbacks]

[Well thank god this is text then, if he fucks up and laughs no one will know.]

uh ok i promise
cross my heart and hope to die
dude is it really that bad

[text]

[awesmazings]

YES
ITS THE WORST
WORST THING EVER

[text]

[callbacks]

is it puppets

[text]

[awesmazings]

worse





pickles

[text]

[callbacks]

like regular pickles
or is that somethings name

[text]

[awesmazings]

no like
regular pickles
theyre awful
no, EVIL

[text]

[callbacks]

[They're inanimate.






Then again, so are puppets. ...Hopefully.]

what do they do

[text]

[awesmazings]

think of any bad thing thats ever happened to you
like getting gum stuck on your shoe or tripping into a garbage can
you can thank pickles for that
theyre bad luck and bad news im serious!!

[...]

i just
really dont like them

[text]

[callbacks]

huh
hhhhhhhuh
no ok you could be onto something there jt
do you know if theres recorded evidence of it being a widespread phenomena or is it just localized

[text]

[awesmazings]

I have eyewitness accounts
MINE
no matter where I go if I run into pickles, something awful happens every time
i cant explain it but we just dont mix

[text]

[callbacks]

do you know if its just you or does it affect other people too
because if its just you it might be something else

[text]

[awesmazings]

I dunno actually
im pretty sure Beezy and Heloise think Im just being silly
but I swear theyre bad news

[Answer: It's just him.]

[text]

[callbacks]

bro have you ever pissed off a clown
a clown with magic dream powers

[text]

[awesmazings]

yes
...I dont think they have dream powers though
what do you mean by that

[text]

[callbacks]

ok well i dont have all the facts about this because it involves alien horseshit and im strictly anti that
but apparently i shat all over a clowns ancestral religion once by accident
and he actually went into my friends and my dreams and planted like
weird voodoo nightmare shit in there so we had these irrational
not necessarily fears
but intense discomfort around certain things
things that turned out to be legitimately evil like jesus fuck thats not even the voodoo talking its been attested to by multiple sources
but anyway im thinking maybe youve been similarly cursed with the pickle stuff
its possible

[text]

[awesmazings]

[...hang on just give him a minute to...process all of that.]

thats super scary!!
is there anything I can do?

[text]

[callbacks]

if pickles turn up in your dreams
destroy them

[text]

[awesmazings]

okay
okay got it ill do that
im so glad you understand my problem ive been scared of these stupid things all my life

[text]

[callbacks]

dude of course
im nothing if not a chill and understanding guy
seriously though watch out for clowns especially if theyre religious aliens and also try to find someone who can see the future and steer you away from bad decisions like that henceforth
youll be thankful for it later

[text]

[awesmazings]

theres lotsa clowns back home
I knew they were dangerous but i didnt think they were THAT bad

[text]

[callbacks]

id say im sure there are nice clowns
but honestly ive never met one
dude dont you work in a circus

[text]

[awesmazings]

oh yeah its just that the clowns back home arent like people dressed up as clowns here
theyre like
REAL clowns
all the time clowns

[If you thought Jimmy was going to be making any more sense today, you were mistaken.]