Voicemail

[callbacks]

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Please note the date and time of day for me!

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4/20 | afternoonish??? | text

[quadrangle]

HEY ASSHOLE
BEFORE I FORGET AGAIN, WHO'S THIS NAOYA DOUCHEBAG AND WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING ABOUT TROLLS.

[callbacks]

oh
hes this guy who works at the candy shop where i get pokepuffs for huggybear and val and breeze
he knows a lot about earth shit and apparently he knew one of the other kinds of trolls back home so we compared a little
i dont remember everything i told him but probably not much
no state secrets or anything

[quadrangle]

WHAT STATE SECRETS WOULD THESE BE, YOU KNOW PRECISELY JACK SHIT ABOUT ANY OF THAT
BUT OK. I WAS WONDERING BECAUSE HE REPLIED TO MY LAST POST AND I COULD NOT FATHOM HOW YOU KNEW AND/OR COULD STAND HIM.
HOW *DO* YOU STAND HIM?

[callbacks]

i stood you guys for three years didnt i
what did he do

[quadrangle]

ASKED HOW WE DON'T ALL GET EATEN BY LUSII AND I THINK INVITED ME OVER TO HIS HIVE TALK ABOUT SGRUB? AND I AM NOT FUCKING GOING, DAVE.

[callbacks]

oh
yeah
you dont have to
i mean i dont know if i would either if it were just me

[quadrangle]

WAIT, REALLY? I THOUGHT YOU WERE FRIENDS OR SOMETHING.
WAIT FUCK NEVER MIND, I GET IT. I WOULDN'T WANT TO DISCUSS THAT ALONE, EITHER. EVEN IF IT WASN'T WITH AN ADULT

[callbacks]

no i mean
well yeah ok i guess im not really mr eager beaver ready to spill all the gratuitously shittastic events of my short but tragic life
but like
i sort of
theres topics im comfortable sharing with him but i dont know if thats one of them
or if id want to do it at his place

[quadrangle]

[...]

YEAH I CAN SEE THAT.
STILL WAITING ON THE ANSWER TO "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU STAND HIM" BY THE WAY, YOUR LAST ONE WAS TOTAL BULLSHIT. I AM A FUCKING DELIGHT AND YOU KNOW IT.

[callbacks]

i like
learning about earth from him
hes done a lot and knows a lot
and hes not really THAT bad
he sent me coats and blankets and shit for the girls

[quadrangle]

OH
OH, OK. YEAH, THAT MAKES MORE SENSE.

SORRY IF I WAS STICKING MY SNIFFNODE WHERE IT WASN'T WANTED? I MEAN YOU REALLY DON'T NEED TO TELL ME EVERYTHING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

[callbacks]

no its
ugh sorry
i sound weird dont i
its
complicated for shitty reasons but he doesn't know that

[quadrangle]

OK.
JUST LET ME KNOW WHENEVER YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. IF EVER.

[callbacks]

well are you busy now

[quadrangle]

NO. SHOULD WE MEET UP?

[callbacks]

its not a BIG thing
or well its not big relatively speaking anyway
but sure do you want me to bring home a couple chicken nugget meals
or whatever the fuck pokemon chicken nuggets are made out of
(dont think about that too hard)

[quadrangle]

YEAH OK
I'LL MAKE THE PILE THIS TIME.

[callbacks]

keep my spot warm for me

[And he's back at the hotel shortly with a few Happiny Meals in tow. Because fuck you, the toys are awesome.]

Yo. Delivery.

[quadrangle]

[No judgment here. Wait, that's a lie. So much judgment. All the judgment.

Karkat is fortunately too busy putting the finishing touches on the most epic pile ever to offer comment, but he does have the presence of mind to look away from his work when Dave arrives and give his moirail a faint smile. This fucking idiot.]

I knew I kept you around for something.

[Yes. It has nothing to do with how pappable Dave is at all.]

[callbacks]

Aw, you only love me for my chicken nugs.

[He sets the food aside for a moment, though, to inspect the pile. Inspect it with his face, anyway. He plants himself comfortably in the heap with a soft grunt.]

Piles. Man, I'm telling you. Wave of the future.

[quadrangle]

[Fortunately for Dave, every blanket and pillow in the room was nobly sacrificed for the purpose of constructing this pile, i.e., it's soft as fuck. You're welcome. Enjoy faceplanting into it while Karkat rolls his eyes and settles into the other half.]

Is this going to be a thing with you. Because if this is going to be a thing, we need to renegotiate the terms of our moirallegiance. They're just piles, Dave, what the fuck.

[callbacks]

Your face is just a pile. Also, they're good and I like them.

[He burrows a little deeper in and makes a contented noise.]

You can make them out of whatever and just pick 'em up when you're done, or kick stuff around or crawl all underneath everything for maximum comfort. Like holing up in a fluffy-ass cloud of awesome.

[quadrangle]

[What the fuck. Dave, what. And, yeah, Karkat's going to ignore the part where that bullshit response means Dave thinks his face is good and likes it? Wait, what. Okay, no, this matter is too complex for him right now, back to pile-wallowing.]

They're not all fluffy, dickweasel. The horn pile wasn't, and I think Eridan had a pile of shitty wands stashed somewhere.

[And Equius and Nepeta had, what, a pile of robot parts? God, he really shouldn't have started on this particular tangent; it isn't helpful at all.

He muffles a groan in the "fluffy-ass cloud of awesome" his moirail is unreasonably enamored with, then turns his head to direct a vague glare in the idiot's direction.]

Where are my nuggets, asshole. I'm not getting up for them.

[callbacks]

[Dave reaches out until his fingertips scrape the edge of a bag, and then he manages to tug it over, pull out the Happiny Meal Box, and try to balance it on Karkat's head.]

Hmm. You know, I think I remember passing the fuck out in a pile of suitarangs and shitty weapons once.

[He crosses his arms under his chin, watching Karkat, then breathes out.]

So. Naoya.

[quadrangle]

[This is Abuse. He is speaking with his legislacerator ASAP, by god, you little shit. He'll see you in the courtblock.

... Yeah, this metaphor makes no sense to anyone anymore. Don't mind him while he growls and snatches the box off of his head, or rather mind a whole hell of a lot because what the fuck, Strider, how is this appropriate pile conduct?

He sits up a little, but since Dave is apparently choosing now to actually get serious (thus robbing him of his totally immature and yet completely deserved retaliation, damn you), he doesn't do much more than that. Naoya. Right.

He stares down at the Happiny Meal Box in his hands and frowns.]

You're okay with him. Right?

[He needs to be absolutely sure of this first. Just. Because.]