Um, hey, Dave? I'm sorry to trouble you out of the blue, and after such a long time since...what I want to talk about happened. That's my fault, I've been busy and distracted and I only just now found myself thinking about it. But, um. I figured that you would know what to do better than me, because you've known him for longer. You see, I seem to keep making mistakes whenever I talk to Karkat. Or, well, not mistakes, I just. Don't know that I'm bringing up something that's a problem for him? Or I don't realize it's a problem until after I've hit enter on a message or said all the words. Is there any way I can keep myself from these snafus, or am I going to keep falling into these confounded pit-traps unless we're simply sending each other pictures of our Pokemon? And is there a good way I can say I'm sorry? Does he like cookies? Or raisins? I have so many grapes to make into raisins. I could literally run Sunflora Maid Raisins out of business.
Oh gosh, I'm sorry for rambling like this, I just don't want to keep making someone upset if I can do something about it! And I like to talk to Karkat, he's a bit of a grump but he's nice too! And he went through all the Sburb bullcrap just like we did. I'm not sure who else to ask.
oh man uh ok let me start with the easy stuff first 1 yes stuff his face with cookies that solutions karkat tested and strider approved 2 karkats actually one of the nicest people i ever met you just gotta get past that prickly pear exterior to reach the soft soulful jellybean filling underneath which mostly isnt even actually that hard he likes helping people just bring him problems that arent his own and watch him go
anyway as for your actual question
like
mmmghghhgh i forget how much do you know about the other sessions
Okay, baked goods as peace offerings is a plan. Got it. And that is a rambly description of what I said, so I agree. But I'd rather not pile problems onto him, that sounds rude.
As for other sessions, I... I don't know? Roxy told me we defeated the Condesce, but I don't know how far ahead that is. I had literally just woken up after dying to become a God Tier before I found myself in "Mom"'s house.
right which was before i wouldve met you shit well i cant go into too much detail because i wasnt there and its not my story to tell but the trolls session was a clusterfuck of mathematically unreal proportions and karkat lost a lot of friends and blames himself for a lot of shit what sorts of topics have been setting him off
Um. Actually, he sort of said as much to me when I casually dropped some information from my session. About dead friends, I mean. And I...didn't exactly know that the dead trolls being thrown into our kernelsprites by the living version of the purple ghostly monstrosity following him around a couple months ago were his friends. Or that said purple monstrosity was a...troll-thingie of his in the past. I wouldn't have said anything if I'd known!
ohhhh shit gamzee came up?? fuck ok yeah that dude is verboten in karkats conversational world and if i had my way in all physical worlds too gamzee related topics to avoid: clowns faygo religious assholehery things that go honk in the night ooh yeah on that note be careful with pranks too dudes skittish as fuck about some things
Um, yeah, that guy came up. I'm not exactly his biggest fan either, but if I'd known it was that bad I would have purged him from all future conversations already. At the very least, I don't have a particular liking for any of those things, though I can tolerate clowns.
Huh. Okay, good to know. I think he also doesn't like buckets or something? He was less than enthusiastic about them when we were all at the beach. So...I'm going to avoid buckets in conversation and in any benign prank attempts.
so when a troll of any sex loves another troll of any sex very much or also hates them real good in a nonplatonic manner they shack up in one of the concupissant quadrants which is apparently trolls snooty term for the sexy quadrants and after they concupisce they mutually dump the resulting fluids into a big old handy bucket that every trolls got to have on hand and then these red hulking robots come around and pick up the buckets as tribute to the old lady grub in whose belly the sex juice goes to mix with all the other horny trolls contributions in a gross orgiastic slurry and when thats all sat around long enough she pops out hundreds of colorful wiggly fuckers that grow up into the upstanding grey gentlemen and ladies we cohabitate meteors with today so when karkat sees a bucket hes not thinking "OH A CONVENIENT CYLINDRICAL IMPLEMENT FOR CARRYING SOAP AND WATER FROM FLOOR TO FLOOR FOR MY TROLL CINDERELLA COSPLAY" hes thinking "WHY DID SOMEONE JUST LAUNCH A SEX TOY THROUGH A GLOWING GREEN DOG PORTAL INTO MY FACE????" and thats why sometimes he gets a lil uppity about our human promiscuity all leaving cleaning supplies lying around and shit
... ... ... What the fuck. That is disgusting. Dave, are you pulling my leg? Because that sounds like a gross, exaggerated lie and I do not appreciate it.
i would never lie about important troll culture knowledge particularly when ive got the opportunity to just lay it straight and its still this fucking unbelievably nasty you can ask karkat if you want but hell get embarrassed
Oh my God. I'm not delving into another bout of stupid social fumbling with him! Geez... Can we just never speak of that stuff again and I'll. You know. Refrain from bucket-possession for the rest of my life? Please, Dave?
also this isnt really a topic to avoid per se but like hell never admit this but hes really bummed about being the only troll here with the world all tooled to human sensibilities im still struggling myself with how to make him comfy with that if its even possible so just know that thats a thing
Oh! Huh. I think I can understand that. I mean, there are most definitely perspectives on things that he has that don't translate well if he brings them up to us. And he's literally in an entirely new body here, right? I do remember trolls do not look like us. Why don't you both try dressing up as trolls sometime? Just for the heck of it. Unless that isn't going to help...
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10/20, Evening, Text
I'm sorry to trouble you out of the blue, and after such a long time since...what I want to talk about happened.
That's my fault, I've been busy and distracted and I only just now found myself thinking about it.
But, um. I figured that you would know what to do better than me, because you've known him for longer.
You see, I seem to keep making mistakes whenever I talk to Karkat.
Or, well, not mistakes, I just. Don't know that I'm bringing up something that's a problem for him?
Or I don't realize it's a problem until after I've hit enter on a message or said all the words.
Is there any way I can keep myself from these snafus, or am I going to keep falling into these confounded pit-traps unless we're simply sending each other pictures of our Pokemon?
And is there a good way I can say I'm sorry? Does he like cookies? Or raisins? I have so many grapes to make into raisins. I could literally run Sunflora Maid Raisins out of business.
Oh gosh, I'm sorry for rambling like this, I just don't want to keep making someone upset if I can do something about it!
And I like to talk to Karkat, he's a bit of a grump but he's nice too! And he went through all the Sburb bullcrap just like we did.
I'm not sure who else to ask.
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ok let me start with the easy stuff first
1 yes stuff his face with cookies that solutions karkat tested and strider approved
2 karkats actually one of the nicest people i ever met you just gotta get past that prickly pear exterior to reach the soft soulful jellybean filling underneath
which mostly isnt even actually that hard
he likes helping people just bring him problems that arent his own and watch him go
anyway as for your actual question
like
mmmghghhgh i forget how much do you know about the other sessions
no subject
And that is a rambly description of what I said, so I agree.
But I'd rather not pile problems onto him, that sounds rude.
As for other sessions, I...
I don't know?
Roxy told me we defeated the Condesce, but I don't know how far ahead that is.
I had literally just woken up after dying to become a God Tier before I found myself in "Mom"'s house.
no subject
shit well
i cant go into too much detail because i wasnt there and its not my story to tell but the trolls session was a clusterfuck of mathematically unreal proportions
and
karkat lost a lot of friends
and blames himself for a lot of shit
what sorts of topics have been setting him off
no subject
About dead friends, I mean.
And I...didn't exactly know that the dead trolls being thrown into our kernelsprites by the living version of the purple ghostly monstrosity following him around a couple months ago were his friends.
Or that said purple monstrosity was a...troll-thingie of his in the past.
I wouldn't have said anything if I'd known!
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gamzee came up??
fuck
ok yeah that dude is verboten in karkats conversational world and if i had my way in all physical worlds too
gamzee related topics to avoid:
clowns
faygo
religious assholehery
things that go honk in the night
ooh yeah on that note be careful with pranks too dudes skittish as fuck about some things
no subject
I'm not exactly his biggest fan either, but if I'd known it was that bad I would have purged him from all future conversations already.
At the very least, I don't have a particular liking for any of those things, though I can tolerate clowns.
Huh.
Okay, good to know.
I think he also doesn't like buckets or something? He was less than enthusiastic about them when we were all at the beach.
So...I'm going to avoid buckets in conversation and in any benign prank attempts.
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ok wait im going to explain that one to you real quick
if only so SOMEONE on your side of the family gets it
miss crocker
let me tell you
about troll reproduction
no subject
Um.
Wait.
Excuse me?
Troll reproduction?
That's a non sequitur from buckets, Mister Strider.
no subject
they shack up in one of the concupissant quadrants which is apparently trolls snooty term for the sexy quadrants
and after they concupisce they mutually dump the resulting fluids into a big old handy bucket that every trolls got to have on hand
and then these red hulking robots come around and pick up the buckets as tribute to the old lady grub
in whose belly the sex juice goes to mix with all the other horny trolls contributions in a gross orgiastic slurry
and when thats all sat around long enough she pops out hundreds of colorful wiggly fuckers that grow up into the upstanding grey gentlemen and ladies we cohabitate meteors with today
so when karkat sees a bucket hes not thinking "OH A CONVENIENT CYLINDRICAL IMPLEMENT FOR CARRYING SOAP AND WATER FROM FLOOR TO FLOOR FOR MY TROLL CINDERELLA COSPLAY"
hes thinking "WHY DID SOMEONE JUST LAUNCH A SEX TOY THROUGH A GLOWING GREEN DOG PORTAL INTO MY FACE????"
and thats why sometimes he gets a lil uppity about our human promiscuity all leaving cleaning supplies lying around and shit
no subject
...
...
What the fuck.
That is disgusting.
Dave, are you pulling my leg? Because that sounds like a gross, exaggerated lie and I do not appreciate it.
no subject
particularly when ive got the opportunity to just lay it straight and its still this fucking unbelievably nasty
you can ask karkat if you want but hell get embarrassed
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I'm not delving into another bout of stupid social fumbling with him!
Geez...
Can we just never speak of that stuff again and I'll. You know. Refrain from bucket-possession for the rest of my life?
Please, Dave?
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your wish is my command
also this isnt really a topic to avoid per se but like
hell never admit this but hes really bummed about being the only troll here with the world all tooled to human sensibilities
im still struggling myself with how to make him comfy with that if its even possible so just know that thats a thing
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I think I can understand that.
I mean, there are most definitely perspectives on things that he has that don't translate well if he brings them up to us. And he's literally in an entirely new body here, right? I do remember trolls do not look like us.
Why don't you both try dressing up as trolls sometime? Just for the heck of it. Unless that isn't going to help...
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unless someone helps me
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I'm not exactly a costume makeup person, Dave.