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2 ∅ [Video]
[Whoa, what's this? A video post from our resident red-texter? The young man in the feed doesn't have much of a facial expression behind his shades, but he seems pleasantly keyed-up somehow, anyway--maybe it's something in the way he bounces as he flops into his chair.]
I was going to ask if there's some kind of survivalist secret Santa for birthdays around here, or if a Pokémon takes care of it. Like, maybe there's just a widespread anonymous cultural practice of delivering rope and hardtack to someone's door on the anniversary of their exiting utero.
[The corner of his mouth slides up a bit.]
But then I discovered the most important item I've yet received here in Pokéworld. Ladies and gentlemen...
[He turns the camera to reveal a Ralts in a scarf probably twice as long as it is tall. It's holding what looks like the kind of cheap wind-up Electabuzz toy you'd find at the bottom of a child's fast food box.]
The Happiny MealTM toy.
[Dave is so stoked. The Ralts, more bemused than anything else, winds it up and seems surprised when it rattles across the desk. It crouches to watch the toy more closely as Dave pulls the view back to himself, still practically bursting (you know, for him) with ironic amusement.]
Anyway, since I've got all this kit now, does anyone in the Violet City neck of the woods want to go check out those ruins? I know it's basically freezing and all, but they're not supposed to be too far out, and. [He shrugs.] They sound all right.
[Meaning he really, really wants to go see them, and it is his birthday.]
I was going to ask if there's some kind of survivalist secret Santa for birthdays around here, or if a Pokémon takes care of it. Like, maybe there's just a widespread anonymous cultural practice of delivering rope and hardtack to someone's door on the anniversary of their exiting utero.
[The corner of his mouth slides up a bit.]
But then I discovered the most important item I've yet received here in Pokéworld. Ladies and gentlemen...
[He turns the camera to reveal a Ralts in a scarf probably twice as long as it is tall. It's holding what looks like the kind of cheap wind-up Electabuzz toy you'd find at the bottom of a child's fast food box.]
The Happiny MealTM toy.
[Dave is so stoked. The Ralts, more bemused than anything else, winds it up and seems surprised when it rattles across the desk. It crouches to watch the toy more closely as Dave pulls the view back to himself, still practically bursting (you know, for him) with ironic amusement.]
Anyway, since I've got all this kit now, does anyone in the Violet City neck of the woods want to go check out those ruins? I know it's basically freezing and all, but they're not supposed to be too far out, and. [He shrugs.] They sound all right.
[Meaning he really, really wants to go see them, and it is his birthday.]
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I don't know about that, but it probably wouldn have destroyed quite a bit of the frosting.
[That would be the real crime, obviously.]
Singing? ...I can try, if you want.
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[He takes a moment, thinks of something, and then blows the candle out.]
So, plates?
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[And producing a small package of plates like the one the cake is resting on from her bag, along with a few fast-food packets of disposable cutlery.]
[Penny sits quietly on the edge of the hotel bed, her Vulpix hopping up with her to watch the proceedings silently from her lap.]
...Did you want to visit the ruins, then? They do sound interesting.
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Yeah, they sound pretty cool. I mean, I don't think there'll be any crazy skeletons or anything to look at, but ancient culture stuff is all right, too. And I heard there are puzzles and stuff, too.
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[Penny pauses a second to swallow, so she's not talking around a giant mouthful of cake. She does delicately use a free thimb to wipe some frosting from her mouth as she continues.]
You sound very familiar with ancient ruins. Was there anything like them on your meteor?
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[He waves his fork in a little circle in the air.]
But we all had these little planets we had to run around and explore in order to survive the game we were in, and there were ruins to spelunk there sometimes.
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[Astrophysics is very much not her forte, but something about that just seems scientifically wrong.]
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Were the new planets anything like the one that got destroyed?
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And it wasn't making the new planets out of the destroyed one, then.
[Except metaphorically, question mark?]
That still seems very extreme for a game. ...Were you winning? I don't think you ever said.
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Uh. No. Not particularly.
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[She doesn't know what the stakes in this game were, if any, but anything that involves a meteor apocalypse has to be pretty serious.]
I'm sorry. That's a lot worse than what losing a game usually means, isn't it.
...But at least you're here now, right?
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Which wasn't actually an opera, just so you know. That was just me being ironic with my words, like I do.
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