2 ∅ [Video]

[callbacks]

[Whoa, what's this? A video post from our resident red-texter? The young man in the feed doesn't have much of a facial expression behind his shades, but he seems pleasantly keyed-up somehow, anyway--maybe it's something in the way he bounces as he flops into his chair.]

I was going to ask if there's some kind of survivalist secret Santa for birthdays around here, or if a Pokémon takes care of it. Like, maybe there's just a widespread anonymous cultural practice of delivering rope and hardtack to someone's door on the anniversary of their exiting utero.

[The corner of his mouth slides up a bit.]

But then I discovered the most important item I've yet received here in Pokéworld. Ladies and gentlemen...

[He turns the camera to reveal a Ralts in a scarf probably twice as long as it is tall. It's holding what looks like the kind of cheap wind-up Electabuzz toy you'd find at the bottom of a child's fast food box.]

The Happiny Meal^TM toy.

[Dave is so stoked. The Ralts, more bemused than anything else, winds it up and seems surprised when it rattles across the desk. It crouches to watch the toy more closely as Dave pulls the view back to himself, still practically bursting (you know, for him) with ironic amusement.]

Anyway, since I've got all this kit now, does anyone in the Violet City neck of the woods want to go check out those ruins? I know it's basically freezing and all, but they're not supposed to be too far out, and. [He shrugs.] They sound all right.

[Meaning he really, really wants to go see them, and it is his birthday.]

Comments

[voice]

[no_ufo_ending]

I'm not sure that's a good idea. They seem like they'd be haunted.

[voice]

[callbacks]

Ghosts are more my friend John's dorkish obsession than mine, but where there are ghosts there's usually cool dead shit to look at, so that's a thing I'm willing to tolerate.

[voice]

[no_ufo_ending]

Your funeral.

_{[Henry that's not necessary IT IS HIS BIRTHDAY.]}

[voice]

[callbacks]

Nah, that's generally held in April. Anyway, it's not like ghosts can be really dangerous around here, right? I mean, they're probably just more kinds of Pokémon.

guess who

[doitrockapella]

!!!

ALERT ALERT ALERT
AWOOGA AWOOGA

INSERT QUERY TARGET USER
D A V E
S T R I D E R

IS TODAY YOUR
B I R T H D A Y

???

INITIATING EMERGENCY BIRTHDAY PROTOCOLS
BEEP BOP BOOP

ATT: birthwubs.mp3

ZACK ZACK ZACK ZACK!

[callbacks]

HOLY SHIT
can you mix shit like this on the phones????
or do i have to bust my ass at part time menial labor for the next five decades until ive saved up enough pocket change to get some basic sound equipment
what do you use??
where do you get your samples??

also yeah its my birthday good catch whoever you are

[doitrockapella]

HELLO
GREETINGS
BONJOUR
SALUD
FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS

MY NAME IS ZACK
ZACK ZACK ZACK

DJ ZACK ATTACK IS BACK ON THE MIKE !!!

PROCESSING QUERIES...

1) YES
I AM USING THE GEAR

2) A PROGRAM I WROTE

3) MY TRAINER GIVES ME SOUNDS !!!
A N D
I RECORD MY OWN

[video]

[faintwaves]

[Not even going to lie, Xion's...kind of...entranced by the toy's progress. She nearly misses all the rest of what was said, and Arceus forbid anyone try to ask her what utero even means.]

...[!! Ri-right, there's a person talking.] Oh, h-happy birthday.

[Now, Riku told her if somehow she ended up in Violet City, Xion should get the hell out of there right away or risk being stuck Forever. It sounded very serious from the way he talked about it, so being dropped in Violet via that...weirdness should be Serious Business.

So that's exactly why she says:] The Alph ruins? Sure, when'd you want to go?

[Curiosity killed the Replica.]

[video]

[callbacks]

[Oh, wow, a hit.]

I was thinking maybe this weekend? You know, in case anyone has a real person job. My schedule's pretty flexible, I can pencil basically anything in. Since they won't give teenagers full-time work for reasons that escape me given the local demographics.

[video]

[faintwaves]

[Ah.

...


She should probably get one of those, come to think of it, Riku isn't here to get ca$h from.]

That sounds good, I'll be training to fight Falkner and working in the mean time. [Do people usually carefully schedule their adventures?] Are you sure it's okay to come along? We don't know each other or anything.

[video]

[infinityunlimitedflame]

I would imagine such a talisman would protect you on your journey.

[...yes, he's aware it's a cheap happy meal toy. And yet, he seems completely serious about this.]

[video]

[callbacks]

[Dave considers this, then inclines his head the slightest bit.]

Yeah, naturally. I can feel all the mystic aura shit just oozing off of it.

[You know your circle of friends at home is weird when Tanaka Gundam, Supreme Overlord of Ice, is the closest anyone's come in a month to speaking your language.]

There've gotta be more where this came from, though, right? You know, for like. Warding off inclement weather, or meteor showers, or trolls. Where can I get a troll one.

[video]

[infinityunlimitedflame]

I would imagine one would exist, but the quest to discover it would prove to be an almost impossible challenge.

[Since there's probably less of whatever that one is, or only certain restaurants get it. Who knows?]

[Video]

[awesmazings]

[Excuse him did somebody say birthday.]

Woah, it's your birthday?! Happy birthday, dude! How old are you?

[Video]

[callbacks]

I have freshly minted age seventeen.

[But he shrugs.]

I mean, it's a little messed up because, from my perspective, I missed a few months, but time's all wonky where I'm from and especially so for me, so who knows how old I am, technically. At some point you just have to give up on calculating that shit manually and accede to the local calendar.

[Video]

[awesmazings]

Haha yeah, I know what you mean. That's neat though, you're a year older than I am now!

[He nods his head a little at the screen, even though the toy is no longer in view.]

Nice toy, by the way.

[Action]

[in4apounding]

[As Dave finishes his broadcast there's a knock on the door frame as Penny enters the room, a Vulpix peeking from behind her legs.]

Salutations Dave! Happy Birthday.

[Hope you like cake, Dave, because you're being presented with a small pre-made, grocery-store bakery cake on a decorative paper plate. A single birthday candle is flickering merrily away at its center.]

...This is still traditional where you come from, isn't it?

[Action]

[callbacks]

[For a moment, Dave looks truly, achingly touched, and the way he presses the smile between his lips to keep it from escaping doesn't mask how genuine the expression is. He stands and takes the cake from her, head ducked to keep that weird sincerity on the down-low until he can get it handled.]

Yeah, birthday cake is still the custom du jour in Daveworld. You're sharing this with me, right?

[Wart looks shyly intrigued as well. Cake! And a candle! Is it safe for humans to put fire on their food?]

Re: [Action]

[in4apounding]

That would be sensational, thank you!

[She had thought it might be rude to actually ask, but she'd been hoping because HAVE YOU EVER TASTED CAKE.]

...I would have gotten more candles, but I wasn't sure how old you were turning.

Video

[anexcitableboy]

Oh hey, happy birthday. I guess those still happen here, huh?

Yeah, those ruins are cool, I poked around'em a little bit recently.

Video

[callbacks]

Oh, yeah? What'd you find?

Video

[anexcitableboy]

I didn't really go too far, just found some Pokemon.

It's real neat looking out there, though. Like something outta a comic book.

[killer_sweets]

Happy Birthday, if you're having cake at some point send me some. [He asks a random stranger.]

Going to Ruins sounds pretty fun, even though there aren't any deadly traps or chance of being hit by a curse.

[callbacks]

Well that hardly sounds like any kind of proper ruins at all. What about flesh-eating skeleton zombie mummies? There've gotta be a couple of those around.

[Is he serious, is he kidding.]

[killer_sweets]

The closet thing you could encounter would be unknown popping out, arranged to spell the word zombie or maybe you'll luck out and find a Cofagrigus that will turn you into mummy.

[It would be entertaining either way.]