Voicemail

[callbacks]

text . voice . video . action

Please note the date and time of day for me!

Comments

[callbacks]

ok so
kinky aragorn on legolas action or what

[hashtagafreakingghost]

oh my GOD
DAVE



I have taste it was legolas and gimli

[callbacks]

was there beard fondling
what is it with girls and beard fondling

[hashtagafreakingghost]

look it's ROMANTIC!
I literally refuse to get into this anymore with you

[callbacks]

you know real beards get crumbs and shit caught in them right
are they really that attractive
im not asking because i cant grow more than two hairs on my face or anything im just curious

[hashtagafreakingghost]

they like
don't look BAD I don't know
it wouldn't be a turnoff if a guy I liked grew one

[callbacks]

man i am learning all sorts of new things today
i mean about what girls of our century like
or i guess what you a singular girl likes given that ive only been in close contact with like two girls my whole life and rose was uh
well
she liked writing about beardy dudes but the empirical evidence suggests they werent technically her type

[hashtagafreakingghost]

first of all
I can give you a very clear picture of My Type (capitalized for EMPHASIS)
all I said was a beard wouldn't be a turnoff if I already liked the guy
second of all

[...He's using past tense again. What should she do?
Best not make it too weird.]

your sister's a lesbian isn't she?

[callbacks]

yes
maybe
i dont know she might be bi??
i always kind of thought she harbored secret sweet thoughts for john but then she started dating kanaya whos UNEQUIVOCALLY a lady
like if she werent our age id be calling her maam and shit shes just got that vibe

[Looks like he can't really keep the past/present divide straight. That or it's about something else. Who knows.]

anyway its not like i want to know that much about my sisters type in the first place
so yours isnt related to beards?

[hashtagafreakingghost]

it's alright
I have a friend who kind of sounds similar haha I can never keep her sexuality straight
(probably because she can't either??)

um anyway
NO of course not! basically I just like guys who are funny and nice and loyal
he has to be passionate about what he likes
and he has to understand that I'm a bookish girl who sometimes gets too stressed to function
and physically um
I don't know
boys who are taller than me but that's kind of a wide range


glasses are cute

[callbacks]

john
youd date john

[hashtagafreakingghost]

your friend who looks like a bunnelby??
hm.



I mean if we got along ok???
one thing I forgot to mention I don't really date people I haven't known for a very long time

[callbacks]

youd also have to endure his asstastic taste in movies so honestly youre dodging a bullet by not having him around to get acquainted with
but if you could somehow get past that
though i dont know how anyone with brain cells can
you couldnt really go wrong with a good kid like john
i guess hes cute if youre into that though i dont know if hes taller than you

[hashtagafreakingghost]

I'm five foot three ://
and I sort of already have experience with bad movies tastes
I watched Con Air with my best friend remember
I've had years and years to build up a tolerance for bad movies
that and bad jokes galore
dad jokes and puns
they're usually pretty funny actually

your friend john though he sounds nice

[callbacks]

its been a while since i got to really hang with him so im not sure how tall he is
shorter than me still at least
but yeah hes pretty ok
a total dorkwad but the nicest guy i know
which maybe doesnt say much but what the hell thats good enough for me
weve been bros since forever

[hashtagafreakingghost]

[She has a moment of pause but]

they're always like that aren't they?
super dorky and super nice and the kind who you you make friends with and then you can't imagine the world without them

[callbacks]

[...]

yeah


you want to talk about them?
your john i mean

[hashtagafreakingghost]

what?
oh
I was doing that wasn't I
i could
his name is chris
he's the one with the bad movie tastes
my best friend in the whole world

[callbacks]

does he have glasses

[Welcome to shit-eating little brother world, Ashley.]

[hashtagafreakingghost]

[not again]

fuckin
i walked right into that one didn't i

yes
and if you were asking this like a WEEK ago i'd be denying furiously so keep the teasing to a MINIMUM

[callbacks]

haha ok ok im an understanding guy i get you
here ill restrain myself to two characters
are you ready
...
...............
.............................................
B)
there thats it youre safe from all the winking and nudgin i got in me

[hashtagafreakingghost]

thank you

aaaa now I'm all embarrassed!!
we hadn't even really talked about it for real before I was dragged here so it feels weird to even say something
he's just (ok not JUST) been my best friend for sooo long and even if I wanted something to happen I didn't know if it WOULD
so now it's re-conceptualizing everything
you know?

[callbacks]

kinda?
i mean i dont think ive been in that position exactly
(especially not with john lmfao no no no never)
but
yeah i guess when i was younger there was someone i was interested in who mightve liked me back and maybe we almost couldve done something with that but circumstances happened
so
we didnt

[hashtagafreakingghost]

oh Dave, I'm so sorry :(
are you still at least able to talk about it?
missed opportunities like that are the worst :/

[callbacks]

i mean
it was kind of a dumb middle school type
um
christ i dont want to say crush it makes me sound so uncool
but we always had sort of a special relationship and it mightve gone somewhere but then we didnt see each other for a while
and other things happened in the intervening time
so i guess im kind of embarrassed to bring it up now