im going to answer that but first understand that i cant give you the whole story because its not mine to tell and second dont ask karkat about him like ever
its not that you screwed up its that if karkat hasnt even mentioned him it means the whole things fucking him up even more than hes admitted which like yeah duh obviously of course it would im just letting you know now this is more than a sore subject for him so you dont upset him by accident dont worry about it anyway
ugh fuck that guy in every way possible jesus karkat used to love talking about quadrants how dare that asshole ruin that for him too just GOD what a completely fuckin awful dude
Edited (I keep finding new and exciting ways to mess up my html) 2016-03-11 04:55 (UTC)
[Oh, Jesus, she can't tell him why Karkat was messed up, shit.]
it was talking about it in context of him being a moirail and even when we were first discussing it I didn't really I didn't really want to ask a lot for my own reasons but he didn't want to tell much and he said he was bad at it but he's so attentive and caring so I didn't understand why
what CAN you tell me? I don't want to overstep but I want to know a little at least
what karkat said what?? what the fuck oh my god no that is a million times WRONG IM SO FUCKING MAD THAT GUY IS SUCH SHIT! fucking making karkat think ANY of that was his fault fuck FUCK that guy ok new rule dont listen to karkat hes fucking braindead heres what actually happened
karkat calms gamzee out of a mental break and probably saves his life gamzee then ignores the SHIT out of karkat for three years all hiding in the vents and sneaking around with terezi and making them both feel like absolute shit about themselves until they cant hardly think since kanayas busy with rose and terezi and karkats matespritship whatever broke down even before i landed on scene this leaves karkat ALONE which is such a shitty thing to do to a guy who only ever did his best to take care of everybody i cant even EXPRESS how goddamn terrible gamzee is and he did SUCH fuckawful things to karkat even besides that like betrayal on this scale just isnt even measurable and karkat still thinks hes responsible for that dude shitting on him??? god fucking dammit bro
what the why did he DO that??? why would he be so Karkat's done so MUCH for him so why would he just turn around and fuck everything up?!
YES Karkat was saying he didn't notice warning signs and I god I can't say it didn't remind me of certain things but that doesn't mean I relationships take two people that's what I told him because he didn't want to hear anything GOOD about it but if he did everything he could to help like I am sure he DID then none of this is on Karkat none of ANYTHING that jerk did
im trying to figure out why hed even god i guess if hes still kicking his own ass about what happened with his friends before we got there? like the events leading up to gamzees flipping out and other shit in the first place like jesus thats probably it i think he said as much to me and i missed it but thats all crap that happened before i got there so even if you asked ash i wouldnt know what to say about it beyond that karkat was the leader of the trolls session and he got all twelve of them through to the end and then everything shat on him in the worst way and he was only six sweeps old he was only thirteen
fuck i ive been TRYING but i wasnt there and i fundamentally just dont get a lot of things about how his world works so i dunno when i say shit its easy for him to shrug it off
then maybe we just can't let him say those things I I know I don't know everything and this is all knew to me and I didn't see but god he told me not to talk to him anymore about it too fuck
if he just could feel like he had a success a moiraillegiance where he feels like he did the right thing even though he didn't FAIL since he feels like he did and until then just watch and listen comfort him when we can
if another troll were here one of the non shitty ones anyway like maybe kanaya or fuck i dont know even terezi or one of the dead ones they could goddamn tell him the business because i refuse to believe karkat vantas did anything wrong
i mean yeah we all kind of had one troll we were closest to and karkat was hers but she didnt live with them for three years like me and rose did so she just doesnt have as much exposure it might not work out
oh they can reconnect here at least? or I'm not sure what to tell him but maybe then you have the best shot at making him feel something other than this
ashley im not good at feelings shit for maybe obvious reasons what im saying is circumstances have left me the emotional range of a decapitated chicken i dont want to make it worse for him with my clumsy ass empathetically stunted bumblefuckery
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im going to answer that
but first
understand that i cant give you the whole story because its not mine to tell
and second
dont ask karkat about him
like
ever
[Text]
oh crap.
did I screw up again?
I don't mean to keep asking things that are taboo
[Text]
its that
if karkat hasnt even mentioned him it means the whole things fucking him up even more than hes admitted
which like yeah duh obviously of course it would
im just letting you know now this is more than a sore subject for him so you dont upset him by accident
dont worry about it
anyway
gamzee WAS karkats moirail
[Text]
oh
oh i
what happened
no you just said you can't tell me just
we were talking
about moirails the other day and
well needless to say i've already upset him by accident so
[Text]
fuck that guy in every way possible jesus
karkat used to love talking about quadrants how dare that asshole ruin that for him too
just
GOD what a completely fuckin awful dude
[Text]
it was talking about it in context of him being a moirail
and even when we were first discussing it I didn't really
I didn't really want to ask a lot for my own reasons
but he didn't want to tell much
and he said he was bad at it
but he's so attentive and caring so I didn't understand why
what CAN you tell me? I don't want to overstep but
I want to know a little at least
[Text]
karkat said what??
what the fuck oh my god no that is a million times WRONG
IM SO FUCKING MAD THAT GUY IS SUCH SHIT! fucking making karkat think ANY of that was his fault
fuck
FUCK that guy
ok new rule dont listen to karkat hes fucking braindead
heres what actually happened
karkat calms gamzee out of a mental break and probably saves his life
gamzee then ignores the SHIT out of karkat for three years all hiding in the vents and sneaking around with terezi and making them both feel like absolute shit about themselves until they cant hardly think
since kanayas busy with rose and terezi and karkats matespritship whatever broke down even before i landed on scene this leaves karkat ALONE
which is such a shitty thing to do to a guy who only ever did his best to take care of everybody i cant even
EXPRESS
how goddamn terrible gamzee is
and he did SUCH fuckawful things to karkat even besides that
like betrayal on this scale just isnt even measurable
and karkat still
thinks hes responsible for that dude shitting on him???
god fucking dammit bro
[Text]
why did he DO that???
why would he be so
Karkat's done so MUCH for him so why would he just turn around and fuck everything up?!
YES Karkat was saying he didn't notice warning signs and I
god I can't say it didn't remind me of certain things but that doesn't mean I
relationships take two people that's what I told him because he didn't want to hear anything GOOD about it
but if he did everything he could to help like I am sure he DID then none of this is on Karkat none of ANYTHING that jerk did
[Text]
god
i guess if hes still kicking his own ass about what happened with his friends before we got there?
like the events leading up to gamzees flipping out and other shit in the first place
like
jesus thats probably it i think he said as much to me and i missed it
but thats all crap that happened before i got there so even if you asked ash i wouldnt know what to say about it beyond that
karkat was the leader of the trolls session
and he got all twelve of them through to the end
and then everything shat on him in the worst way and he was only six sweeps old
he was only thirteen
[Text]
oh
oh my god
oh no
what do we do?
we can't just leave him in this
this horrible place
[Text]
what can i do
[Text]
I don't know HOW but we have to help him
help him feel like he's not just this horrible person who failed everyone
[Text]
ive been TRYING
but i wasnt there and i fundamentally just dont get a lot of things about how his world works so
i dunno when i say shit its easy for him to shrug it off
[Text]
we just can't let him say those things I
I know I don't know everything and this is all knew to me
and I didn't see but
god he told me not to talk to him anymore about it too
fuck
if he just could feel like he had a success
a moiraillegiance where he feels like he did the right thing even though he didn't FAIL since he feels like he did
and until then just watch and listen
comfort him when we can
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one of the non shitty ones anyway
like maybe kanaya
or fuck i dont know even terezi or one of the dead ones
they could goddamn tell him the business
because i refuse to believe karkat vantas did anything wrong
[Text]
if not
what about Jade? would he listen to her?
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yeah
we all kind of had one troll we were closest to and karkat was hers
but she didnt live with them for three years like me and rose did so she just doesnt have as much exposure
it might not work out
[Text]
they can reconnect here at least?
or
I'm not sure what to tell him
but maybe then you have the best shot at making him feel
something other than this
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me?
thats
ashley im not good at feelings shit
for maybe obvious reasons
what im saying is circumstances have left me the emotional range of a decapitated chicken
i dont want to make it worse for him with my clumsy ass empathetically stunted bumblefuckery
Re: [Text]
I know
I mean
I kind of
got some of that but you
the one who has the best shot at helping him is his best friend
that's you
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clenched
with preemptive horrific embarrassment
or possibly terror
im not sure
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do you deny it?
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no
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and if there's anything his other friends can do I'm sure we will
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i really want him to be not fucked up
how do we get to be not fucked up
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