[Wart is many things. Positive things, even, most of them! He is very brave and very tolerant and has probably more common sense than the rest of team RWPYstuck combined.
He is not, naturally, Dave Strider.
Except he is, right now, and that's. Awful? Yes. Awful is the right word. Dave can't hear, he can't skim the surface of the minds around him, can't feel when something hits a wrong note and his services are needed, and also, oh my god, how is he supposed to let Karkat know what's going on without super freaking him out?
He's still frantically creating and discarding plan after plan when suddenly Karkat stumbles out of bed and vanishes into the bathroom. Wart waits, rolls over to make sure he's really gone, and then hops out of bed just as quickly to grab the nearest Pokéballs and open all of them at once. Out come Missy Elliott, Hutch, Wiglaf, Huggybear, and...]
Shit. Thank FUCK.
[Dave shakes himself (shakes Wart?) off and looks around, one palm to his head.]
What the hell...whoa, Jesus dicks.
[He looks down at himself, then Wart gets his attention again, gesticulating wildly, obviously upset and panicking. Dave blinks, because he can feel it, and he can feel his other Pokémon's varying levels of curiosity and worry, and...]
Where's Karkat?
[Wart points to the bathroom door, and then the question comes through. All six of them freeze, and Dave frowns.]
Okay, what the fuck, that is not Karkat.
[Wart nods, clears his throat, and then calls back in as passable an imitation he can do of sleepy Dave:]
[ Crap. He answered. He's in there. For the sake of not having a meltdown and deciding to stay on the floor staring blankly into space, he forces himself to stand. What does Karkat usually sound like? How should he stand?
He ends up looking at the mirror again. He's standing straight. He doesn't know if that's right or not. Does Karkat brush his hair in the morning or should he leave this mess? Shouting and cursing a lot doesn't exactly give him a lot to go on. Can it be excited yelling or always angry? Or just a volume issue?
He makes a few faces in the mirror. None of it looks right to him but he isn't sure what right would be. It's a pretty cute face though. Damn. Why is Dave being platonic with this?
Probably not the right thought to have here...
He ends up with the same blank face he carries on his own face because he doesn't even know how to properly keep one of those stupid faces up if he tried. Neutral is safe, right?
He opens the door. How do you approach this? He couldn't even explain himself when he had other problems. This is going to go terribly. But. It's Dave. Should be Dave. That sounded how he'd expect Dave to sound after waking up, in any case. "We should talk." "Text me and see what happens." "Remember Freaky Friday? Lindsey Lohan was reasonably good in that but The Parent Trap still remains my favorite performance."
Wait. What's Dave doing in here? ]
Why the fuck are the Pokemon out? [ Should he have yelled that? ]
[Hutch the Umbreon's ear twitches, and he moves to stand between Dave/Wart and Wart/Dave and the Karkat-who-is-not-Karkat. Wiglaf, more timidly, glances between his two friends, and then races up to sit on Wart-in-Dave's shoulder, whiskers starting to spark a little.
Wart considers his situation, then stands in a decidedly un-Dave-like way, chin lifted proudly, hands at his sides.]
...Lie detectors.
[Dave, on the other hand, looks at Wart (looks at himself?? this is weird), shakes his head, and pats his arm with a sigh. Wart glances down with a questioning expression.]
No, dude, you tried, but, protip? Hands in the pockets. Chill dudes always got to have their hands in the pockets. Also, you forgot to put my shades on.
[Dave starts to walk over to get them, but realizes something. Stops. He lifts a hand, and the aviators rise from the nightstand, float across the room, and then fall neatly into his hand.
HELL. FUCKING. YES!
He puts them on, and Wart's face is such a better poker face than his own, this is awesome.]
Mind telling me who you are and what you're doing in my lawfully McWedded palebro's body?
[ Of-fucking-course Dave has Pokemon lie detectors. He's so busted. Well, that's probably better than fucking off without explaining the reason why until Karkat decided to text Dave to let him know someone else was occupying his small frame.
He opens his mouth. He closes it. His eyes follow the shades until they're placed on a Pokemon's face. Then he's getting spoken to in his head. Dirk can't help but feel uncomfortable about that. But there's a relief that Dave's at least still in the room and he doesn't have to bother trying to pretend anything. His eyes go to who should visually be Dave first then back to the Pokemon (Dave is a Pokemon. Holy shit.)
He doesn't get to leave right away. That's fine. He doesn't really want to leave now that he's here. Jig is up. Now they have to solve it. Can't leave until it's fixed. ]
Dirk. I don't know. [ Blunt. Welp. So much for being Karkat. ] Um. [ He raises a hand. ] So. Hey.
[A quick rush of impressions--kneejerk hurt and nerves first, but quickly followed by annoyed self-correction and a reminder of their first two conversations, how almost natural those had felt, uncertainty and curiosity and a vague sense of oceans, of a vast expanse of Time.
Wart shakes his head (shakes Dave's head? This does not stop being weird), snaps his fingers to get Dave's attention, and makes an X in front of his chest. Oh, wait. He can talk.]
Stop. You're leaking. [He taps his head.] Psychically.
Oh, shit. Oops.
[Dave shifts his weight, but actually doesn't know how to, you know, stop doing that, so he just returns the lifted hand in greeting.]
[ "Psychically leaking?" He can't place any of it, too wrapped up in his own mix of emotions to notice. He thinks Dave might not want him to be standing here of all people. He'd probably get a kick out of it if it were John or Jade. But him? No. It's just... uncomfortable. Curiously uncomfortable.
Your brother is your best bro right now. That shouldn't be awkward but it is. It's sad that it is.
He's probably shit to psychically link to. How far does that go? He'd like to think he's blank for the sake of him right now. It wouldn't do anything with any level of psychic pick up or leakage. But Dave would know he's not past the face. He should probably leave him alone.
He tips his (Karkat's) head ten degrees to the left, mouth in a straight line. ]
Being me. Near the edge of the city in the trees, if he hasn't moved. [ He hopes Anne's okay. ]
Aw, shit, he's probably freaking the hell out. I should...
[Dave glances back at the door, and more leaks out: concern, a tightening of the chest, the memory of Karkat tucked warm and safe under his chin, he can't be crying, protective and belonging-feelings.
He hovers on the verge of running off to look for him, then looks back at Dirk, at the utter oddity of those neutral expressions on Karkat's face. He doesn't think Karkat's ever looked neutral in his life.]
...Are you okay? Waking up all Vantasfied, I mean.
[Hesitance/concern/curiosity again, the worry for Karkat a constant background rhythm, like a pulse, but not the only thing on his mind; an inadvertent little push to see if the door's cracked, if he can really see that this poor guy (brother-notbrother, fucked up like him) is all right, displaced like this.]
[ Should find him? Dirk isn't the main problem, he can tell now. The reminder of things that are completely awful. The main problem would be something he's vaguely catching. He thinks it's his own at first. That longing. Someone safe and warm. He thinks of Jake. Ah. No. Wrong.
That's not his. That's Dave. The main problem is Dave is going to keep worrying about Karkat. Dave can't be more fucked up about his face than his timeline, right? They should just find wherever Karkat is puppeteering Dirk. ]
Me? [ Is he okay? Something's wrong. This situation is completely beyond his control. He doesn't feel right. He feels splintered off again. Half awake and trying to focus because he left his body elsewhere. He can hear a heart beating in his ears and he knows that's not his own right now. He balls his hands up at his sides. God, he's fucking terrified. ]
Yup. I'm good. I'm feeling pretty short as shit though. How tall is he?
[The dissonance between what Dirk says and what Dave's gleaning from him unintentionally is jarring, and Dave's doubtful face doesn't lighten. Wart watches him with an expression that kind of says, "Yeah, how do you think I feel, talking to you?"
Anyway.]
I dunno, five-six? Little shorter than Jade.
[A flicker of stars at first spring, lime, and deep loyalty, the forever-ever-ever kind, and it's gone. First things first: Dirk is the one in front of him, and he's kind of freaking out about being in Karkat's body (haha lol). Dave's got enough worry to go around, he can make sure Dirk's all right before he goes anywhere. He turns a hand palm-out and tries to sound calming.]
It's gonna be okay, dude. These things seem to last two or three days tops, and you're welcome to hide out in here with the lights off or whatever until it's over.
[ Dirk briefly looks at Dave (Wart wearing Dave) and looks him up and down in an obvious yet subtle size-up. Something's different here if he's (Karkat) an estimated 5'6. It might have something to do with Wart failing to continue on with Dave's slight hunching. How long has Dave been here? A year? Is he the older one? Dave might get a kick out of it if he verbalizes this thought. It's better than the worry he's getting. ]
Are you taller than me?
[ They should have Dirk (Karkat wearing Dirk) to stand back to back. That little flicker reminds him of Jake again. And Roxy. Huh. The comment does little to calm him. It only causes a pang of confusion and increasing worry that this is apparently a frequent enough situation that Dave has an estimated timeframe for it. No control. Just change who they are/look like willy-nilly. Back to the possibility of hearing the eerie cheering of "DIRK DIRK DIRK DIRK." Oh god. ]
Thanks. We should probably find Karkat before I crawl into any sort of hole in here. [ He might not be as inviting. ]
Edited (Phone tagging is hard) 2016-05-25 15:20 (UTC)
[Aaah, okay, Dirk is not a stoic unfeeling manlyguy incapable of the human disease called anxiety, lesson secured. Dave feels...a little bad for even wondering if he might be.
Time to do what he does best: Pretend everything is chill by throwing words at the world.]
Okay. Yeah, Karkat. Um...you know, even if he says you smell like a butt made out of dumps, you can at LEAST stay in the hotel, right? Come on, Wart.
[Dave opens the door for all of them, feeling oddly balanced even having lost nearly a foot of height. Is that because Wart's a Fighting type? Or a Psychic type? Wart himself definitely looks less comfortable on Dave's stork legs, though maybe he's just not comfortable with, like. Anything. He really wants his Psychic powers back, thanks.
Dave looks back, though, intrigued.]
Am I taller than you? You know, normally. How tall are you?
[ Pretending everything is chill by verbalizing endlessly sounds about right to Dirk. His face certainly is good at pretending. That doesn't falter even once while he keeps internally flipping the fuck out. ]
That's good to know. [ Is Dave just saying he'll overrule Karkat's vote? That's probably what he's saying here. That's massively appreciated. He wonders if everyone else is in the same hotel.
Dirk follows behind them - adjusting to the balance after a couple of steps. He's not comfortable but he's doing his best to not fall on his face again and it's working. He's also using a hand and combing it through Karkat's unruly hair with his fingers. This is some bedhead. Jesus dick. He's going to at least get this a little neater with the effort. If someone else runs into them he doesn't want to make Karkat look like a mess. ]
[Well, mostly he's saying Karkat has no say in who gets to stay in the public dang hotel, but yeah, Dave would at least be willing to put a word in for Dirk.
Anyway, he's surprised and a little--juuuust a little--bit pleased.]
Huh. Yeah, I. Guess I'm a little taller than that, now. I hit a growth spurt around my birthday.
[He starts to lead the way to the lobby, but then Wart says "eep!" in Dave's voice and puts a hand in his pocket. He opens the PokéGear, then hands it to Dave so he can reply to Karkat. In the meantime, Wart just tries not to look embarrassed, though he eventually gives up and stuffs his hands in his pockets, blushing faintly.
Dave glances up again, about to say something, then does a double-take. A faint thread of laughter winds its way through his mental voice.]
[ Dirk is thinking about movies that contain scenes of hotels in them. There's a list of pros and cons he's forming in the back of his head while feeling a vague sense of childish excitement about maybe staying in one. He decides he has to try room service at least once so he can report back to Roxy about how classy it is even if this is no where near as lavish of a hotel as the word "classy" implies. He hopes they have those card-key locks. Did he see Dave with a key? He rumages through his (Karkat's) pockets to see if he has one. Then returns the hands back to the (futile?) effort of taming this hair.
He missed Dave's birthday. Now he's older and taller. The logical point of his head states that he missed every birthday and feeling like he failed the guy somehow by not celebrating it is stupid. He feels like he let him down somehow. He has to make up for an alternate version of him that never made him boxed lunches. If Jane was here, he'd probably ask her to make a beyond-belated cake. She would call him crazy but do it anyway, he bets.
His eyes stick to Wart while they move. Wow. That's all kinds of weird and adorable seeing Dave's face blush. He only stops when Dave chimes into his thoughts again. He slowly turns his gaze over (down. Dave is so soft right now.) Hd promptly drops his hands to his sides. ]
Sometimes I ruffle it up and he just ruffles it back to the way it was somehow. I'm not sure they had combs on Alternia.
[There it is again: deep, hard-earned fondness woven over time, dark greys and bright reds and, wow, Dave really wants to hold that guy's hand all the time or something. Those are some very snuggly feelings that may or may not actually be pale.]
It's kind of pointless to try, anyway, it's too thick. Jade's hair is like that too but at least you can tie it up with shit.
[The feel of it in his hands, heavy and dark and coarse, long afternoons spent brushing it out and twisting it gently into braids and fancy up-dos and elven-looking slender crowns just to get it out of her face, so her eyes are clear.
Her eyes look like her laughter sounds, so bright and electric.]
Yikes. [ The delivery is flat. There's a considerate pause, then a shrug. ] Fuck it. That sounds like a challenge. I'm brushing his hair later.
[ This might be the only time this hair gets brushed. Karkat will feel loads better if he can run a finger through without it getting stuck in a tangle. Dave will too, assuming that fits into their strange platonic relationship.
Strange because he's pretty sure the pick ups from Dave don't seem platonic. He's had the feeling. So he's practically an expert of the heart ( ha ), right? He thinks he should know. It's also nearly identical to whatever is going on after the remark about Jade. He would think regular friends don't usually brush eachother's hair. Unless it is a normal behavior and those gay BFF tropes are really on the nose. Seriously doubtful. Was Roxy ever disappointed he never braided her hair?
John did say a Dave dated Jade... ]
Are two moirails common for trolls or does Jade fall under matesprit?
[Wow, a person's brain sure can make noises that aren't possible in airspace.]
What? No! Jade and I are--wow, dude, where did you even get that impression, Jade's like my best girl friend. Two words, a friend who is a girl.
[Aaaaaaaaaaaaa abort abort abort, how does he turn it off? In the background, Wart sighs and rubs the corners of his eyes.]
A-also, it's not like I'm a troll. Except in the usual sense of the word. Human friends can fall asleep in each other's laps, that's totally normal. And cool. And chill.
Well then. Dave's response does get Dirk to visibly emote using Karkat's face. He's now wearing a clear expression of complete confusion. The brows knit together and the lips curve down in a frown. Uh. Did he cross a boundary? Dirk, you fuckhead. This isn't even a lightning round. Dave said he told the appropriate parties about that moirellgence thing with Karkat. This would have been a common knowledge thing if he interpreted right. He did not. Shit.
Okay. Dave had no idea what his emotions were doing. Or Dirk doesn't understand shit. One of those. Possibly both. ]
The associated feelings and impressions for both you were giving off reminded me of my own during my only, I admit, romantic relationship. I just thought since Karkat got you using quadrants, you'd place one of them in another to avoid some kind of platonic cheating? So... [ Yep. He raises his shoulders in a tight uncomfortable shrug and holds it until he's done speaking. ]
I mean in a platonic way! ...Probably? Shit, no, definitely, I mean, I think he was into her for a little but--fuck, I didn't say that! I didn't say anything. You heard nothing, not a thing was conveyed to anybody either verbally or through empathic mind hookups, there was no thing at all to speak of, least of all by me.
[Has Dirk ever seen an animal get its paw stuck in a can or something on the YouTubes? They'll flail uselessly across the house trying to get it off before finally plopping their ass down and going about their business like nobody sees they've got their foot literally still stuck in a can. That's kind of what this is like.
Dave tries to rein his feelings back in. It's kind of useless, they're like spaghetti that went through a topless blender, but he tries. Oh god does he try. In this institution.
After a second, he adds:]
Anyway, Jade already tried the whole Strider Smoochtown rodeo with Davesprite. She's probably allergic now, isn't that how that shit works? Doesn't kick in until you're exposed to the thing.
[ And he thought they had a lot of teen drama. Karkat likes Jade. Karkat and Dave like eachother. Dave likes Jade. He has no idea how Jade feels about Karkat but if she likes him there would be a very simple solution to this problem
Or do people not do that? He doesn't even know. There hadn't been guide to normal relationships in the 25th century that was applicable to the 21st. And look how his last attempt at one turned out. He probably should keep his damn mouth shut about even suggesting something about Dave's before the guy has some kind of conniption. Who does he think he is? He can't impart some wise experienced dating wisdom like the older brother figure in some shitty romantic comedy. He's not even the older one here. ]
I wouldn't know. An alternate version of myself didn't date Jake before me. Perhaps not? That Dave would have different life experience. And bird influence. She might only have only developed an allergy to feathers. You probably wouldn't kiss the same. Similar but not the same.
[Noooohohohooooo. Dave didn't want to think about kissing Jade even if probably it would be kind of nice but she knows not to lick, right, he means her doggy instincts are gone and she'd probably get all into it or maybe she'd be shy and melt a little and HE'S NOT THINKING ABOUT KISSING JADE oh god oh god he is totally thinking about kissing Jade he's thought about kissing Jade since he learned what kissing was and she's pretty and he's always felt special with her and this is Dirk's fucking fault talking about kissing with Karkat's face--
ABANDON SHIP NOW HE'S THINKING ABOUT KISSING KARKAT??? No no no no no no no no but fuck he's so cute and good and lonely and sometimes Dave just wants to SKREEEEEEEEEEEK NOOOOOOOOOOO
He buries his face in Wart's tiny green hands and feels like a goddamn hamster in a wheel, running very fast and getting nowhere.]
Nooooooooooooooooooooo.
[Wait. The wheel stops spinning quite suddenly as Dave's brain-hamster freezes in place.]
[ What did he just trigger? He really shouldn't be privy to any of this. He rubs the back of his neck and turns his eyes off of Dave (Tiny Pokemon) and on to Wart (Dave). Dude. Wart is so lucky he doesn't have fucked up relationships when he wants to mate. ...Or does he? He hadn't considered that. He'll have to research that. Breeders would have that information, yes? A member of Dave's core group surely would have to have the guide on that.
He shouldn't be thinking about researching Pokesex while Dave is beyond confused about who he likes and embarrassed. He doesn't see how this would be that embarrassing either way. Past nonsense, most likely. Ughhhh. Stupid. He should keep his mouth shut. Then again, this is probably shit Dave should deal with at some point instead of torturing himself. He's fucking helping. Maybe he can do that wisdom thing but more as a guide that simply eases Dave into coming to his own rational conclusion and realizing the truth of his emotions with a few well placed questions. Hmmm. ]
Yes. [ What would Jake look like as a grandpa? ...Oh, no. He'd probably still be hot. That's fucked up. Dave, pay no attention to that thought process. ]
[He is scandalized. So scandalized. But he's laughing, too, horrified but genuine groaning mental laughter at the image of his new-brother(??) dipping the fuck out of Jade's taxidermied old man corpse and making smoochie noises.
It's the first time he's allowed himself to call Dirk "Bro," at least out loud. Or. Whatever.
Okay, okay, calm down. He is as chill as a bottle of Evian right out of the mini-freezer. He wipes his eye surreptitiously with the corner of Wart's bandanna.]
So...so is that, like. A thing, for you? Swinging that way, I guess.
[ There's a spike of warm excitement the second "BRO" pops out of Dave's psychic chatter. Score. Bro status achieved.
Dirk thinks this is fucking hilarious. It's pure amusement that only reflects on Dirk's (Karkat's) face as a side-ways smirk at first. Then Dave's laughing and groaning and he can't help the full on grin. The short "Heh." The internal pure joy of the absurdity doesn't get properly displayed. He's overjoyed he got him to crack up. What glorious imagery in Dave's head. He must draw this later. ]
Yup. [ He can appreciate that Dave didn't just ask if he was "hella gay." Nicer phrasing. Smooth. ]
[It's two kinds of weird simultaneously to see Dirk smiling with Karkat's face--one, because like hell does Karkat ever make SMALL expressions with his face, even when he's trying to keep things on the down-low--and two, because he's never seen Bro smile, ever, and...he's curious, for a second, what Dirk really looks like. In his body proper, that is, what his mannerisms would be, if he'd...maybe not be as scary as he'd assumed. But anyway, that's neither here nor there.]
So...huh.
[The thoughts slip into a more sober, more uncertain mode for a moment and what comes up are...puppet butts? Uh, okay. It's only a flash this time before Dave shoves the picture out of his head and puts an effort into brightening up again.]
So this Jake guy does, too, huh? Or, I mean, I guess he could just be helplessly drawn to the sheer animal magnetism of our genes. And by genes I mean glutes.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He is not, naturally, Dave Strider.
Except he is, right now, and that's. Awful? Yes. Awful is the right word. Dave can't hear, he can't skim the surface of the minds around him, can't feel when something hits a wrong note and his services are needed, and also, oh my god, how is he supposed to let Karkat know what's going on without super freaking him out?
He's still frantically creating and discarding plan after plan when suddenly Karkat stumbles out of bed and vanishes into the bathroom. Wart waits, rolls over to make sure he's really gone, and then hops out of bed just as quickly to grab the nearest Pokéballs and open all of them at once. Out come Missy Elliott, Hutch, Wiglaf, Huggybear, and...]
Shit. Thank FUCK.
[Dave shakes himself (shakes Wart?) off and looks around, one palm to his head.]
What the hell...whoa, Jesus dicks.
[He looks down at himself, then Wart gets his attention again, gesticulating wildly, obviously upset and panicking. Dave blinks, because he can feel it, and he can feel his other Pokémon's varying levels of curiosity and worry, and...]
Where's Karkat?
[Wart points to the bathroom door, and then the question comes through. All six of them freeze, and Dave frowns.]
Okay, what the fuck, that is not Karkat.
[Wart nods, clears his throat, and then calls back in as passable an imitation he can do of sleepy Dave:]
No. What do you want.
Hahahaha, holy shit, not bad, dude.
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[ Crap. He answered. He's in there. For the sake of not having a meltdown and deciding to stay on the floor staring blankly into space, he forces himself to stand. What does Karkat usually sound like? How should he stand?
He ends up looking at the mirror again. He's standing straight. He doesn't know if that's right or not. Does Karkat brush his hair in the morning or should he leave this mess? Shouting and cursing a lot doesn't exactly give him a lot to go on. Can it be excited yelling or always angry? Or just a volume issue?
He makes a few faces in the mirror. None of it looks right to him but he isn't sure what right would be. It's a pretty cute face though. Damn. Why is Dave being platonic with this?
Probably not the right thought to have here...
He ends up with the same blank face he carries on his own face because he doesn't even know how to properly keep one of those stupid faces up if he tried. Neutral is safe, right?
He opens the door. How do you approach this? He couldn't even explain himself when he had other problems. This is going to go terribly. But. It's Dave. Should be Dave. That sounded how he'd expect Dave to sound after waking up, in any case. "We should talk." "Text me and see what happens." "Remember Freaky Friday? Lindsey Lohan was reasonably good in that but The Parent Trap still remains my favorite performance."
Wait. What's Dave doing in here? ]
Why the fuck are the Pokemon out? [ Should he have yelled that? ]
no subject
Wart considers his situation, then stands in a decidedly un-Dave-like way, chin lifted proudly, hands at his sides.]
...Lie detectors.
[Dave, on the other hand, looks at Wart (looks at himself?? this is weird), shakes his head, and pats his arm with a sigh. Wart glances down with a questioning expression.]
No, dude, you tried, but, protip? Hands in the pockets. Chill dudes always got to have their hands in the pockets. Also, you forgot to put my shades on.
[Dave starts to walk over to get them, but realizes something. Stops. He lifts a hand, and the aviators rise from the nightstand, float across the room, and then fall neatly into his hand.
HELL. FUCKING. YES!
He puts them on, and Wart's face is such a better poker face than his own, this is awesome.]
Mind telling me who you are and what you're doing in my lawfully McWedded palebro's body?
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[ Of-fucking-course Dave has Pokemon lie detectors. He's so busted. Well, that's probably better than fucking off without explaining the reason why until Karkat decided to text Dave to let him know someone else was occupying his small frame.
He opens his mouth. He closes it. His eyes follow the shades until they're placed on a Pokemon's face. Then he's getting spoken to in his head. Dirk can't help but feel uncomfortable about that. But there's a relief that Dave's at least still in the room and he doesn't have to bother trying to pretend anything. His eyes go to who should visually be Dave first then back to the Pokemon (Dave is a Pokemon. Holy shit.)
He doesn't get to leave right away. That's fine. He doesn't really want to leave now that he's here. Jig is up. Now they have to solve it. Can't leave until it's fixed. ]
Dirk. I don't know. [ Blunt. Welp. So much for being Karkat. ] Um. [ He raises a hand. ] So. Hey.
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[A quick rush of impressions--kneejerk hurt and nerves first, but quickly followed by annoyed self-correction and a reminder of their first two conversations, how almost natural those had felt, uncertainty and curiosity and a vague sense of oceans, of a vast expanse of Time.
Wart shakes his head (shakes Dave's head? This does not stop being weird), snaps his fingers to get Dave's attention, and makes an X in front of his chest. Oh, wait. He can talk.]
Stop. You're leaking. [He taps his head.] Psychically.
Oh, shit. Oops.
[Dave shifts his weight, but actually doesn't know how to, you know, stop doing that, so he just returns the lifted hand in greeting.]
Hey. 'Sup? ...Where's Karkat?
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Your brother is your best bro right now.
That shouldn't be awkward but it is. It's sad that it is.
He's probably shit to psychically link to. How far does that go? He'd like to think he's blank for the sake of him right now. It wouldn't do anything with any level of psychic pick up or leakage. But Dave would know he's not past the face. He should probably leave him alone.
He tips his (Karkat's) head ten degrees to the left, mouth in a straight line. ]
Being me. Near the edge of the city in the trees, if he hasn't moved. [ He hopes Anne's okay. ]
no subject
[Dave glances back at the door, and more leaks out: concern, a tightening of the chest, the memory of Karkat tucked warm and safe under his chin, he can't be crying, protective and belonging-feelings.
He hovers on the verge of running off to look for him, then looks back at Dirk, at the utter oddity of those neutral expressions on Karkat's face. He doesn't think Karkat's ever looked neutral in his life.]
...Are you okay? Waking up all Vantasfied, I mean.
[Hesitance/concern/curiosity again, the worry for Karkat a constant background rhythm, like a pulse, but not the only thing on his mind; an inadvertent little push to see if the door's cracked, if he can really see that this poor guy (brother-notbrother, fucked up like him) is all right, displaced like this.]
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That's not his. That's Dave. The main problem is Dave is going to keep worrying about Karkat. Dave can't be more fucked up about his face than his timeline, right? They should just find wherever Karkat is puppeteering Dirk. ]
Me? [ Is he okay? Something's wrong. This situation is completely beyond his control. He doesn't feel right. He feels splintered off again. Half awake and trying to focus because he left his body elsewhere. He can hear a heart beating in his ears and he knows that's not his own right now. He balls his hands up at his sides. God, he's fucking terrified. ]
Yup. I'm good. I'm feeling pretty short as shit though. How tall is he?
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Anyway.]
I dunno, five-six? Little shorter than Jade.
[A flicker of stars at first spring, lime, and deep loyalty, the forever-ever-ever kind, and it's gone. First things first: Dirk is the one in front of him, and he's kind of freaking out about being in Karkat's body
(haha lol). Dave's got enough worry to go around, he can make sure Dirk's all right before he goes anywhere. He turns a hand palm-out and tries to sound calming.]It's gonna be okay, dude. These things seem to last two or three days tops, and you're welcome to hide out in here with the lights off or whatever until it's over.
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Are you taller than me?
[ They should have Dirk (Karkat wearing Dirk) to stand back to back. That little flicker reminds him of Jake again. And Roxy. Huh.
The comment does little to calm him. It only causes a pang of confusion and increasing worry that this is apparently a frequent enough situation that Dave has an estimated timeframe for it. No control. Just change who they are/look like willy-nilly. Back to the possibility of hearing the eerie cheering of "DIRK DIRK DIRK DIRK." Oh god. ]
Thanks. We should probably find Karkat before I crawl into any sort of hole in here. [ He might not be as inviting. ]
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Time to do what he does best: Pretend everything is chill by throwing words at the world.]
Okay. Yeah, Karkat. Um...you know, even if he says you smell like a butt made out of dumps, you can at LEAST stay in the hotel, right? Come on, Wart.
[Dave opens the door for all of them, feeling oddly balanced even having lost nearly a foot of height. Is that because Wart's a Fighting type? Or a Psychic type? Wart himself definitely looks less comfortable on Dave's stork legs, though maybe he's just not comfortable with, like. Anything. He really wants his Psychic powers back, thanks.
Dave looks back, though, intrigued.]
Am I taller than you? You know, normally. How tall are you?
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That's good to know. [ Is Dave just saying he'll overrule Karkat's vote? That's probably what he's saying here. That's massively appreciated. He wonders if everyone else is in the same hotel.
Dirk follows behind them - adjusting to the balance after a couple of steps. He's not comfortable but he's doing his best to not fall on his face again and it's working. He's also using a hand and combing it through Karkat's unruly hair with his fingers. This is some bedhead. Jesus dick. He's going to at least get this a little neater with the effort. If someone else runs into them he doesn't want to make Karkat look like a mess. ]
Five ten, I think.
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Anyway, he's surprised and a little--juuuust a little--bit pleased.]
Huh. Yeah, I. Guess I'm a little taller than that, now. I hit a growth spurt around my birthday.
[He starts to lead the way to the lobby, but then Wart says "eep!" in Dave's voice and puts a hand in his pocket. He opens the PokéGear, then hands it to Dave so he can reply to Karkat. In the meantime, Wart just tries not to look embarrassed, though he eventually gives up and stuffs his hands in his pockets, blushing faintly.
Dave glances up again, about to say something, then does a double-take. A faint thread of laughter winds its way through his mental voice.]
Are you trying to brush Karkat's hair?
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He missed Dave's birthday. Now he's older and taller. The logical point of his head states that he missed every birthday and feeling like he failed the guy somehow by not celebrating it is stupid. He feels like he let him down somehow. He has to make up for an alternate version of him that never made him boxed lunches. If Jane was here, he'd probably ask her to make a beyond-belated cake. She would call him crazy but do it anyway, he bets.
His eyes stick to Wart while they move. Wow. That's all kinds of weird and adorable seeing Dave's face blush. He only stops when Dave chimes into his thoughts again. He slowly turns his gaze over (down. Dave is so soft right now.) Hd promptly drops his hands to his sides. ]
He really leaves it like this? It's a disaster.
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[There it is again: deep, hard-earned fondness woven over time, dark greys and bright reds and, wow, Dave really wants to hold that guy's hand all the time or something. Those are some very snuggly feelings that may or may not actually be pale.]
It's kind of pointless to try, anyway, it's too thick. Jade's hair is like that too but at least you can tie it up with shit.
[The feel of it in his hands, heavy and dark and coarse, long afternoons spent brushing it out and twisting it gently into braids and fancy up-dos and elven-looking slender crowns just to get it out of her face, so her eyes are clear.
Her eyes look like her laughter sounds, so bright and electric.]
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[ This might be the only time this hair gets brushed. Karkat will feel loads better if he can run a finger through without it getting stuck in a tangle. Dave will too, assuming that fits into their strange platonic relationship.
Strange because he's pretty sure the pick ups from Dave don't seem platonic. He's had the feeling. So he's practically an expert of the heart ( ha ), right? He thinks he should know. It's also nearly identical to whatever is going on after the remark about Jade. He would think regular friends don't usually brush eachother's hair. Unless it is a normal behavior and those gay BFF tropes are really on the nose. Seriously doubtful. Was Roxy ever disappointed he never braided her hair?
John did say a Dave dated Jade... ]
Are two moirails common for trolls or does Jade fall under matesprit?
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[Wow, a person's brain sure can make noises that aren't possible in airspace.]
What? No! Jade and I are--wow, dude, where did you even get that impression, Jade's like my best girl friend. Two words, a friend who is a girl.
[Aaaaaaaaaaaaa abort abort abort, how does he turn it off? In the background, Wart sighs and rubs the corners of his eyes.]
A-also, it's not like I'm a troll. Except in the usual sense of the word. Human friends can fall asleep in each other's laps, that's totally normal. And cool. And chill.
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Well then. Dave's response does get Dirk to visibly emote using Karkat's face. He's now wearing a clear expression of complete confusion. The brows knit together and the lips curve down in a frown. Uh. Did he cross a boundary? Dirk, you fuckhead. This isn't even a lightning round. Dave said he told the appropriate parties about that moirellgence thing with Karkat. This would have been a common knowledge thing if he interpreted right. He did not. Shit.
Okay. Dave had no idea what his emotions were doing. Or Dirk doesn't understand shit. One of those. Possibly both. ]
The associated feelings and impressions for both you were giving off reminded me of my own during my only, I admit, romantic relationship. I just thought since Karkat got you using quadrants, you'd place one of them in another to avoid some kind of platonic cheating? So... [ Yep. He raises his shoulders in a tight uncomfortable shrug and holds it until he's done speaking. ]
Never tried that one. Sounds nice.
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[...]
I mean in a platonic way! ...Probably? Shit, no, definitely, I mean, I think he was into her for a little but--fuck, I didn't say that! I didn't say anything. You heard nothing, not a thing was conveyed to anybody either verbally or through empathic mind hookups, there was no thing at all to speak of, least of all by me.
[Has Dirk ever seen an animal get its paw stuck in a can or something on the YouTubes? They'll flail uselessly across the house trying to get it off before finally plopping their ass down and going about their business like nobody sees they've got their foot literally still stuck in a can. That's kind of what this is like.
Dave tries to rein his feelings back in. It's kind of useless, they're like spaghetti that went through a topless blender, but he tries. Oh god does he try. In this institution.
After a second, he adds:]
Anyway, Jade already tried the whole Strider Smoochtown rodeo with Davesprite. She's probably allergic now, isn't that how that shit works? Doesn't kick in until you're exposed to the thing.
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Or do people not do that? He doesn't even know. There hadn't been guide to normal relationships in the 25th century that was applicable to the 21st. And look how his last attempt at one turned out. He probably should keep his damn mouth shut about even suggesting something about Dave's before the guy has some kind of conniption. Who does he think he is? He can't impart some wise experienced dating wisdom like the older brother figure in some shitty romantic comedy. He's not even the older one here. ]
I wouldn't know. An alternate version of myself didn't date Jake before me. Perhaps not? That Dave would have different life experience. And bird influence. She might only have only developed an allergy to feathers. You probably wouldn't kiss the same. Similar but not the same.
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ABANDON SHIP NOW HE'S THINKING ABOUT KISSING KARKAT??? No no no no no no no no but fuck he's so cute and good and lonely and sometimes Dave just wants to SKREEEEEEEEEEEK NOOOOOOOOOOO
He buries his face in Wart's tiny green hands and feels like a goddamn hamster in a wheel, running very fast and getting nowhere.]
Nooooooooooooooooooooo.
[Wait. The wheel stops spinning quite suddenly as Dave's brain-hamster freezes in place.]
...You dated Jade's grandpa?
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He shouldn't be thinking about researching Pokesex while Dave is beyond confused about who he likes and embarrassed. He doesn't see how this would be that embarrassing either way. Past nonsense, most likely. Ughhhh. Stupid. He should keep his mouth shut. Then again, this is probably shit Dave should deal with at some point instead of torturing himself. He's fucking helping. Maybe he can do that wisdom thing but more as a guide that simply eases Dave into coming to his own rational conclusion and realizing the truth of his emotions with a few well placed questions. Hmmm. ]
Yes. [ What would Jake look like as a grandpa? ...Oh, no. He'd probably still be hot. That's fucked up. Dave, pay no attention to that thought process. ]
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Bro! Bro, no, dude...!
[He is scandalized. So scandalized. But he's laughing, too, horrified but genuine groaning mental laughter at the image of his new-brother(??) dipping the fuck out of Jade's taxidermied old man corpse and making smoochie noises.
It's the first time he's allowed himself to call Dirk "Bro," at least out loud. Or. Whatever.
Okay, okay, calm down. He is as chill as a bottle of Evian right out of the mini-freezer. He wipes his eye surreptitiously with the corner of Wart's bandanna.]
So...so is that, like. A thing, for you? Swinging that way, I guess.
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Dirk thinks this is fucking hilarious. It's pure amusement that only reflects on Dirk's (Karkat's) face as a side-ways smirk at first. Then Dave's laughing and groaning and he can't help the full on grin. The short "Heh." The internal pure joy of the absurdity doesn't get properly displayed. He's overjoyed he got him to crack up. What glorious imagery in Dave's head. He must draw this later. ]
Yup. [ He can appreciate that Dave didn't just ask if he was "hella gay." Nicer phrasing. Smooth. ]
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So...huh.
[The thoughts slip into a more sober, more uncertain mode for a moment and what comes up are...puppet butts? Uh, okay. It's only a flash this time before Dave shoves the picture out of his head and puts an effort into brightening up again.]
So this Jake guy does, too, huh? Or, I mean, I guess he could just be helplessly drawn to the sheer animal magnetism of our genes. And by genes I mean glutes.
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