callbacks | 3 ∅ [Anonymous Text]

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3 ∅ [Anonymous Text]

[Cleared font formatting, check. Autocorrect, check. Masked I.D., triple check. Dave's been wrestling with this question for over a week, and he's no closer to an answer than he was eight days ago. No closer than he was three years ago.

Where's Dear Abby when you need advice?]

Have you ever been in a situation
Where you knew something somebody else didn't
And you weren't sure if you should tell them or not
Like you knew that if they found out they'd be really upset but there's also nothing they could do about it
And you don't want them to blame themselves
Or
Get mad at you
But pretending it didn't happen feels
I don't know
A lot like lying I guess
What would you do in those circumstances?

I'm asking for a friend.

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[...Oh. Well, that...certainly is a question, isn't it.]

It depends on what the circumstances are, I think.

Is the potential fallout from that person finding out worse than the feeling that you're lying to them?

Edited (words are hard) 2015-12-17 21:09 (UTC)

I don't know
It's been a long time since I've seen them
And the last time that I
That something like this happened I wasn't in a place to fix things up afterward
Or to see how they took it
I just really don't want to fuck things up here for them since they have a chance to be actually happy for once

I ask myself what type of person they are, to begin with.

Withholding things from them to spare their feelings can be a kindness, but there's also a certain arrogance to it. I'd imagine that's where your description of something being "like lying" is stemming from — you're aware that you're superseding their right to dictate their own feelings on the subject at hand.

So the question to begin with is, are they the sort of person who value that sort of control over their feelings over the state of experiencing positive ones? Or put another way, are they the sort of person who does believe that sometimes ignorance is bliss?

You tell them.

It's what I did, and the persons appreciated that I did.

Um
Well they've given me shit before about not giving them spoilers
Like they don't want to know what their future is before they do it
That kind of thing
But uh

I may have been less than forthcoming about something like this before and it was probably pretty upsetting for them that time
One of our other friends chewed me out a little for it
So I don't know
I mean
They haven't ASKED

Really?
It's that simple for you??

Hmm.

So from what you're describing, it sounds as though they don't want to know about bad things that may happen to them personally, but they are more invested in bad things that happen to other people that they feel they should be aware of. Is that accurate?

That's probably true yeah
Looking back
They were always working behind the scenes to make sure the rest of us were where we needed to be and not telling us when shit was bad for them
Historically they were usually the one in this position not me

Therefore, this person highly prioritizes responsibility to the people they care about, putting their own concerns secondary.

Does the issue at hand concern them personally, or a third party?

Salutations!
Um

I have been in a situation like that, yes. It wasn't something that had happened so much as

just the way someone
something
was, I suppose?

I did tell my friend, eventually, and everything turned out sensational! But it was still very scary and I don't know if I could have without being forced.

Um
I'm sorry, this isn't very helpful.

It depends on how much you trust your friend, I guess?

It concerns them and also me
And some other people too I guess but I was out of that action for most of it

I trust her with my life
I mean
Them
I trust them. With my life.
Fuck.
Can I start over

...That's a special case, then.

That sort of secret...never ends well, to keep. Even when keeping it seems like the best idea on the surface.

So you think I should tell them
Even when it won't change anything?

Yes.

It's not really about the content of the secret if it's one that sits between the two of you. It's about the fact that there's a secret at all, standing in the way of your open connection.

As someone who's kept a lot of secrets from people, I usually did more damage by the act of holding back than I would have with the content of the information I was withholding.

But what if I do that and she actually doesn't want to know?
She's so hype about the Pokemon adventure and meeting people and shit and probably doesn't want to think about where we just were at all
I mean I sure as fuck don't
What if telling her shits everything up
I mean
Fuck
*Them
Dammit

[Hmmmmmmm. THOSE LOOK LIKE POSSIBLE DEETS. Kirigiri you are the worst at respecting anonymous.]

I suppose that depends on the sort of circumstances you were in previously. I'm assuming they were much worse than here?

[Xion doesn't know how to do that.

Zero clue.

But still, this is pretty important.]

It'll be worse when it comes out without you intending it to than if you tell your friend yourself.

Trust me, my best friend doesn't even remember who I am but he still found out, he was upset that I didn't tell him. There could be a lot of nasty stuff tied up in what you're not telling your friend, like he had to destroy me so the people that had us wouldn't destroy the both of us, but this person cares about you don't they? So you're probably keeping it secret because it might hurt them.

Well.

They still want to know. Because they care about you. And keeping secrets doesn't just hurt them, it hurts you too, it eats you up inside until you can't bring yourself to smile at them. That's the worst thing that can happen to friends.

Let's call it dead orphans a space opera and move on

You might be surprised how common a set of former circumstances that is around here.

[Jesus shit son of a tapdancing Christ what the fuck is Kingdom Hearts]

I don't smile a lot anyway??

[THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT THING TO SAY.]

But see I don't know if she really wants to know
She hated that kind of future knowledge stuff back where we were so like
I don't know
I feel like if she wanted to know what happened she would've asked? Maybe??

[It's LIGHT. And also suffering.]

Oh, she, sorry.

Maybe she's still thinking about what she last remembers? Or is thinking about coming to meet you?

Maybe she only doesn't want to think about it because she doesn't want to bother you.

How would she even know that you know anything?

Well as you can imagine here's at least slightly better
You know with nothing actively trying to kill us besides the shitty weather and a relative sense of stability

It's also not possible to die here, so that particular concern is reasonably moot.

Many people invest in houses, after awhile. Speaking of stability.

[Oh fuck WELL SO MUCH FOR GENDER ANONYMITY.]

Well I'm known to bounce around the timeline a lot and she didn't even ask when I'm from
Or seem inclined to compare notes about when SHE was from
So I think
Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it

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