callbacks | 1 ∅ [Text]

you know
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not

[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]

if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation

anyway
hey

a/s/l?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

nah my friend Al traded him to me
it was when all the new pokemon showed up last year that one time...September I think it was?
but I think Excalibur sounds cool so that's what I named him!

yeah its a pretty good name for a sword
real traditional
a name with a lot of weight behind it you know

i broke a version of excalibur once

[oh my god Dave how]

woah really?
howd you do that?

i knocked a thing into another thing and it snapped like a cheap piece of shit
a legendary cheap piece of shit
i couldnt get it out of the rock so i just took the most expedient course of action
i could only use broken swords at the time anyway so it worked out mostly

aw man thats nuts
well these swords wont break at least
I dont think they can anyway since they're alive and all

i hope so
i mean the last thing i want is to get lynched for accidental pokecide
swords just break around me
its not anything i or anyone else can control its just a thing that happens

yeah I dont think your honedge would let you break it even if you were actually trying to so I think you'll be fine
if it got hurt or anything you could always take it to the Pokemon Center anyways and they'd fix it right up

where can i get one?
a honedge i mean
i know the nearest pokemon centers in the next town up

uuuum lemme think
I know theres gotta be a place you can catch em
If I were you I'd check caves, or Ruins
those are the kinds of places ghost types are

[/whispers Ruins of Alph from afar]

there are ruins???
shit dude call me indiana and sign me the fuck up
i am ALL ABOUT scouring weird dead shit for weirder dead shit to put on my team

go visit the Ruins of Alph, then! If you keep heading straight from New Bark you'll reach them eventually

ok
oh about what level should i be
im assuming the random encounters there are at least a little tougher than around these parts

[Give him a minute, it's been a while since he's been back that way but thanks to his recent roadtrip with Molly it's easier to remember.]

at least level 20 Id say
maybe 15 but any lower you'd prolly be pushing it
but it isnt that hard to grind up to that level and you'll prolly be past that before you get that far anyway

awesome thanks man
where are you at anyway maybe i can catch up

I was in goldenrod but my friend and I are taking a trip to the other region, Kanto! we work at a circus in goldenrod though so we go back pretty often for shows
we're on the way to Viridian Ciy right now

ok
if and when i ever get there ill hit you up
see if youre in town
you seem like an alright dude i wouldnt mind hanging out with sometime

thatd be great! if you ever need any help with anything you can always call me anytime, okay?

sure thing jt
later