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you know
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not
[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]
if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation
anyway
hey
a/s/l?
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not
[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]
if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation
anyway
hey
a/s/l?
[Text]
i happen to have a lot of field experience in this particular area so you know
consider me your regular font of timestream related wisdom
so uh
can you explain to me what a grimm is because all of that sounded really interesting but i couldnt quite follow
1/2
[The text cuts off for just a second before continuing.]
Oh, I get it! It's a pun! Because of the stream metaphor, and "font" can be a word for fountain! That's VERY clever!
[Yeah, it's probably a good thing this is taking place over text. Wherever she is in New Bark, Penny's probably laughing just a little too hard at the moment.]
2/2
[Sending another moment later, presumably after she's settled down after giving that pun the appreciation it deserves.]
Grimm are monsters who have existed for almost as long as humanity; legends says they first appeared not long after humankind was born, but their true origins are unknown. They lack souls and the ability to utilize aura, drawn to humans by negative emotions like fear or anger, and attack humanity instinctively. In youth they are incredibly reckless and will attack any humans they encounter head-on, but they gain both size and a rudimentary sort of intelligence with age, learning from experience. Once killed, they leave bodies only temporarily, eventually dissolving entirely. Many characterize Grimm as the single most dangerous threat to humanity's continued existence -- kept in check only by the barriers surrounding the four kingdoms, and the continued efforts of the Huntsmen and Huntresses.
[Yeah, that's another giant copy-paste.]
The creatures here- the Pokémon?- seem a bit similar, but far, FAR less hostile. And much cuter!
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i mean Underlings
capital letter shit
those were things we had to fight back where im from
if you killed them theyd drop grist which was basically like building material for your base and other items
anyway yeah pokemon are way chiller im much more enthused about this setup
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Did you have Huntsmen and Huntresses in your world too? It seems like here, everyone fights the monsters. Only to capture them, instead of killing them.
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im not one hundred percent sure what you mean exactly but im going to go out on a limb here and say no we didnt
on account of like
everyone being dead mostly
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Oh no, that's terrible! What happened, was it these Underlings?!
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mostly it was meteors
meteors and bullshit
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I mean
Besides just physically. Obviously you wouldn't be here if you weren't!
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Penny, you sweet summer robochild. MY NAME IS DAVE STRIDER AND I'M FINE!]
eh it is what it is
didnt mean to be a downer about it thats just what my life experience happens to be
space junk and apocalypses
but anyway
im guessing from context clues that youre new here too y/n
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interesting
at least.
[Denial is a totally healthy coping mechanism, right?]
Oh, yes! How rude of me, my apologies. My name is Penny, it's a pleasure to meet you!
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im dave
are you still stuck over there in that first town
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And yes, I'm still in New Bark Town, but we should be departing shortly! I wanted to explore before leaving, but there isn't much here.
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grass
and houses
which was kind of neat in a geez i havent seen this in a long time way but not particularly gripping if you know what i mean
especially since nobody would let me room with them for a while
what has become of hospitality i ask you
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It must be difficult making week-long round trips for supplies, though.
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yeah i didnt consider that
maybe theyve got some way to be self sustaining that were just not privy to on account of being grody outsiders
i mean if i lived in a town that small i probably wouldnt want to deal with the constant foot traffic of total novices wandering around lost either if i could send them on their way with a lunchbox and no umbrella
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And they're very nice lunches, at least! Prepared with love.
[That's what she's been told, at least - she doesn't exactly have a baseline for lovingly made lunches, but she's willing to believe it.]
[She may have already. Kind of. Inhaled her bento, though.
Did you know foods have flavor, Dave.]no subject
He's familiar with the concept, but this child has been downing instant troll coffee and realchemized microwave meals for the past three years. And was probably reared on liquefied Cheetos before that, so. What he knows in theory may not bear out in practice.]yeah?
well "mom" may be completely off her rocker but in that one gesture alone she still managed to outdo any parental guidance i ever had in my life so i guess at least theres that
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[She'd probably be doen for all of that at this point, honestly.]I'm so sorry! That must have been terrible.
But I'm sure your family cared, even if they couldn't show it! My father and Mr. Ironwood can be
difficult, sometimes. But it's only because they want to protect me! Your family might have been the same.
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Penny, no.There's a long, weighty pause before Dave responds.]
sure
bro couldnt cook anyway so its not like i wouldve eaten his lovingly assembled box lunches in any case
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[PENNY YES]He was your brother though, wasn't he?
There must have been something he did out of love. That's how family works!
[Family's supposed to love baby, dangit.]
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yeah well anyway hes dead now so maybe if we could change the subject
[S M O O T H]
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Because of the
Oh
Sorry! I'm so sorry!
[SHE MADE SOMEONE SAD SHE DONE A BAD THING][Thinking of a new topic, fast.]
Um
It's colder here than back home. Are you used to this kind of weather?
[penny pls]
Oh!
What kind of Pokémon were you given?
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hes like a little wispy looking shy guy thing
and no im not used to weather
i spent the last three years on a space rock there wasnt much meteorological activity to speak of
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[Crisis averted.]
Your Pokémon, I mean! Not the space rock. Though that does sound fascinating!
[Mostly.]
I was given a Joltik. She's a bit like a spider, but with the wrong number of legs. She's small, but I can tell she's VERY eager to battle.
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