callbacks | 1 ∅ [Text]

you know
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not

[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]

if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation

anyway
hey

a/s/l?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wait, hold on.

You've been to worlds like this before?

what
like with pokemon?? no
but i mean
you could say im familiar with worlds based on video games yeah
different genre though

Based on a... video game...?

[Elsa's... not even going to pretend she understand any of this. And here she thought being in this world for so long prepared her for anything...]

Well.

That certainly explains how different your introduction was.

oh
right
your place didnt have cars
guess you wouldnt have video games either probably
uhh
its sort of like
oh theres some on the pokegears arent there
like the kanto trail and all that
they wouldnt be as intense as what im referring to but thats sort of the idea
stories and entertainment you get to participate in via electronic media

Oh no, I understood that at least. My sister got... very into the Five Nights one when it first came out. Kept me up all night because she was so terrified of it.

I just didn't know that these games were... actual worlds.

[THAT MAKES PLAYING THEM KINDA CREEPY....]

oh
well i dont know if theres a one to one correlation
like every video game is also a world
but i mean
pokemon is a video game where i come from
and where i come from also happens to exist within the framework of a game
sort of

"Sort of"?

I don't mean to offend, but... your world sounds absolutely strange.

no offense taken thats the honest truth about it
the word youre looking for is probably bullshit but you seem like a more properly brought up individual than i am so ill accept strange as a gentle substitute

... Right. That too.

[You really hit the nail on the head there, Dave. SHE IS A PROPER LADY.]

Well, I hope these lands provide a decent break for you. Things can get extremely bizarre sometimes, but it really is a nice place.

well
i could get used to nice

And if you ever need anyone to talk to or do something with, the people here will be more than happy to entertain you. The offer is certainly open here.

My name is Elsa, by the way.

oh yeah im dave
dave strider
this place really is something huh
five minutes in and im already falling down all this conscientiousness and good manners

A pleasure, Dave.

What can I say? Most of the people here are so incredibly friendly that it's hard not to give them that same kindness in return.

yeah
man who knows
maybe somethingll finally be a good influence on me and ill start like
having manners and shit
better late to finishing school than never right

Oh please, your manners aren't the worst I've seen.
You would probably scandalize my court within a few minutes
But you're far from rude or anything of the sort.

whole minutes??
now i know im losing my touch
though by court im right in imagining like a knightly royal type court yeah
and not like a
sports court</font

You would be correct
The royal court of Arendelle, the kingdom I rule over.

like a queen?
oh hey are you annas sister??

Correct!
Oh, you met Anna? I hope that went well!

[Not that she can really see her sister not getting along with any newbie...]

yeah annas great
i mean youre great too i have no complaints about the company so far in the three and a half minutes ive been here
but shes already whipped out a sidequest for me to fill out and made things here that much homier for me

A.... sidequest?

video game lingo
its like
a chapters subplot in a novel except in a role playing game instead
ill drop terminology like that a lot so if i say something moderately to severely incomprehensible its probably a case of the game life
its just something that happens around me nobody can really stop it

Ah, I... think I understand.

Well, I wouldn't want to stop it just because I might not fully get what you're talking about. Please, continue using all the odd phrases all you like.

like i said
nobody can stop it
least of all me
so i appreciate the understanding