1 ∅ [Text]

[callbacks]

you know
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not

[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]

if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation







anyway
hey


a/s/l?

Comments

[callbacks]

yeah no im fine can we move on please

[soundmind]

[Christ, it's like talking to Soul suddenly, deja-vu.]

Sure.

Has anybody told you about the pokepuns yet?

[callbacks]

oh god
how badly should i be preparing myself

[soundmind]

My friend's Smeargle likes it when I read a certain book to him. It's called Goodnight Lunatone.

Somehow it's exactly like Goodnight Moon but entirely rewritten to include Pokemon.

My friend likes horror, too. So I figure I should pick up a copy of Pokemon Semetary for him for Christmas. Maybe Call of Malathulu. Or maybe some of Edgar Absol Poe's works.




Yeah.

[callbacks]

...
..............
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn
its like that all over isnt it
just when i started to think i escaped the fish puns and the leet and other variants of trollspeak

[soundmind]

I would ask, but it sounds like you've been through Shellder as it is.

[Maka don't be a little shit.]

[callbacks]

that was both weak and unnecessary
and also unjust seeing as i cant retaliate since i only know like one pokemons name at this point

[soundmind]

Yeah, I'm better at rhyming and book jokes than Pokemon ones.

You'll figure out your clever response one of these days, I'll be waiting for it with bated breath.

[callbacks]

yes thats the proper response
ill drop banter on you so fresh spearmint wintergreen wilts in shame
sushi chefs put down their fish chopping knives kneel to the mats and start writhing in ecstasy at the grade of my words
the airtight seal aint never been popped on this freshness is what im saying

[soundmind]

Well Shuckles, I haven't been this excited since I heard there was going to be a sequel to my favorite book!



This is a Shuckle, by the way.

Pokemon can look like anything, even ice cream cones. Even actual trash bags. It's weird.

[callbacks]

omfg what is THAT
that is the sickest looking turtle ive ever seen
jesus h christ it looks like i couldve drawn that thing



i need it

[soundmind]

Shuckle? I think it's over in Cianwood, a lot farther off than where you are now. It's close to where I live, though, I can go catch one for you.

If you're not all maxed out on "nice deeds done by strangers" yet, anyway.

[callbacks]

as if i ever could be
like shit is it my birthday and christmas and hannuka all wrapped up into one pre december date
i was kidding though
at least for now ive kind of got my hands full just figuring out how to take care of the one adorable monster companion ive got
i dont want to compound the situation for myself too early on in the game

[soundmind]

It's November right now, so not quite Christmas yet.

Your birthday *is* in December, though, isn't it? Rose's was, and you're her twin, so...

[Yeah. It's a thing.]

Ah, never mind, you've got magical journey to start and I've yammered at you enough. Take care of yourself, huh?

[callbacks]

uh
yeah ok
later




my birthday isnt the same as roses by the way but close enough i guess