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1 ∅ [Text]
you know
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not
[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]
if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation
anyway
hey
a/s/l?
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not
[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]
if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation
anyway
hey
a/s/l?
Re: [Text]
Y/NToo bad you're getting it anyway.]Remnant collectively refers to the four scattered kingdoms of Vale, Vacuo, Atlas, and Mistral, which came into being long ago following humanity's successful uprising against the monsters of Grimm. Utilizing both natural and artificial barriers and human tenacity, these kingdoms became safe havens against Grimm attacks and shelter the majority of humanity within their walls. Though the kingdoms have engaged in open conflict with one another as recently as the Great War of eighty years ago, the governing councils are currently in a peaceful alliance working for the protection and betterment of all of Remnant, utilizing both traditional military and police as well as the Huntsmen and Huntresses as peacekeeping forces when necessary.
[That all comes in at once, in a giant block, like someone managed to copy-paste a non-existent textbook. There's a short pause before the next line comes through.]
Did you not know that? Are you from one of the settlements outside the kingdoms?
[Text]
i think i can safely say that
before you get excited about that how much do you happen to know about alternate universe theory
Re: [Text]
Absolutely nothing!
[Penny, that's not really something to be cheerful about...]
I can guess it involves alterations to the universe, somehow?
[Text]
its less like changing how things go in one world and more like
thinking of time as an actual stream and key events as rocks
so that when time hits that event the stream basically splits so that it went one way in one stream and one way in the other
and then thinking of that happening ALL THE TIME
so that you end up with an untold infinitude of streams with worlds that end up radically different because events that possibly happened early on in the formation of universe went way differently
you with me so far i swear im going to make a point
Re: [Text]
[It sounds a lot more theoretical than the type of scientific knowledge typically imparted upon a military robot.]
Are you saying you're from one of these alternative streams? That would be amazing!
[Text]
just some worlds are closer to each other than others
this ones just one more
easy right
Re: [Text]
[And another one of those pauses. Penny.exe is processing.]
Oh.
That would certainly explain a lot! Thank you!
[Text]
i happen to have a lot of field experience in this particular area so you know
consider me your regular font of timestream related wisdom
so uh
can you explain to me what a grimm is because all of that sounded really interesting but i couldnt quite follow
1/2
[The text cuts off for just a second before continuing.]
Oh, I get it! It's a pun! Because of the stream metaphor, and "font" can be a word for fountain! That's VERY clever!
[Yeah, it's probably a good thing this is taking place over text. Wherever she is in New Bark, Penny's probably laughing just a little too hard at the moment.]
2/2
[Sending another moment later, presumably after she's settled down after giving that pun the appreciation it deserves.]
Grimm are monsters who have existed for almost as long as humanity; legends says they first appeared not long after humankind was born, but their true origins are unknown. They lack souls and the ability to utilize aura, drawn to humans by negative emotions like fear or anger, and attack humanity instinctively. In youth they are incredibly reckless and will attack any humans they encounter head-on, but they gain both size and a rudimentary sort of intelligence with age, learning from experience. Once killed, they leave bodies only temporarily, eventually dissolving entirely. Many characterize Grimm as the single most dangerous threat to humanity's continued existence -- kept in check only by the barriers surrounding the four kingdoms, and the continued efforts of the Huntsmen and Huntresses.
[Yeah, that's another giant copy-paste.]
The creatures here- the Pokémon?- seem a bit similar, but far, FAR less hostile. And much cuter!
no subject
i mean Underlings
capital letter shit
those were things we had to fight back where im from
if you killed them theyd drop grist which was basically like building material for your base and other items
anyway yeah pokemon are way chiller im much more enthused about this setup
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Did you have Huntsmen and Huntresses in your world too? It seems like here, everyone fights the monsters. Only to capture them, instead of killing them.
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im not one hundred percent sure what you mean exactly but im going to go out on a limb here and say no we didnt
on account of like
everyone being dead mostly
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Oh no, that's terrible! What happened, was it these Underlings?!
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mostly it was meteors
meteors and bullshit
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I mean
Besides just physically. Obviously you wouldn't be here if you weren't!
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Penny, you sweet summer robochild. MY NAME IS DAVE STRIDER AND I'M FINE!]
eh it is what it is
didnt mean to be a downer about it thats just what my life experience happens to be
space junk and apocalypses
but anyway
im guessing from context clues that youre new here too y/n
no subject
interesting
at least.
[Denial is a totally healthy coping mechanism, right?]
Oh, yes! How rude of me, my apologies. My name is Penny, it's a pleasure to meet you!
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im dave
are you still stuck over there in that first town
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And yes, I'm still in New Bark Town, but we should be departing shortly! I wanted to explore before leaving, but there isn't much here.
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grass
and houses
which was kind of neat in a geez i havent seen this in a long time way but not particularly gripping if you know what i mean
especially since nobody would let me room with them for a while
what has become of hospitality i ask you
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It must be difficult making week-long round trips for supplies, though.
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yeah i didnt consider that
maybe theyve got some way to be self sustaining that were just not privy to on account of being grody outsiders
i mean if i lived in a town that small i probably wouldnt want to deal with the constant foot traffic of total novices wandering around lost either if i could send them on their way with a lunchbox and no umbrella
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And they're very nice lunches, at least! Prepared with love.
[That's what she's been told, at least - she doesn't exactly have a baseline for lovingly made lunches, but she's willing to believe it.]
[She may have already. Kind of. Inhaled her bento, though.
Did you know foods have flavor, Dave.]no subject
He's familiar with the concept, but this child has been downing instant troll coffee and realchemized microwave meals for the past three years. And was probably reared on liquefied Cheetos before that, so. What he knows in theory may not bear out in practice.]yeah?
well "mom" may be completely off her rocker but in that one gesture alone she still managed to outdo any parental guidance i ever had in my life so i guess at least theres that
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