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[callbacks]

you know
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not

[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]

if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation







anyway
hey


a/s/l?

Comments

[Text]

[callbacks]

thats really nice of you to offer and everything man but i literally have no idea what any of those are
i never played pokemon growing up
i guess im not picky???

[Text]

[awesmazings]

haha well those were their nicknames not their species so that my bad
um

[...]

ive got a giant moth that's really super fluffy and toasty like a space heater, that's Inferno. She's one of the first Pokemon I ever got
Lucy- or Lucius- is like a dog with horns?
Molotov is just a lion, but he's a fire lion so that's cool
there's really a lot of Pokemon out there though so its not just those

[Text]

[callbacks]

oh man haha uh well
definitely not the dog
i mean not to knock dogs or anything
one of my best friends blew up and then turned into a dog
but
yeah
no
maybe the moth? toasty sounds like a pretty fucking good deal right about now

[Text]

[awesmazings]

[OOPS.]

okay tell you what
you'll prolly be headin to Cherrygrove next yeah? Since thats right after New Bark and all... I'll breed Inferno and Turkey and should have an egg ready before you get there
then text or call me when you're there and I'll get them to fly it over
you'll never have to worry about being cold again once it hatches!

[Text]

[callbacks]

thats
actually one of the nicest things anyones offered to do for me lately so
ok?
ok
you want anything back in return or

[Text]

[awesmazings]

naaah its okay! I got here when it was still real cold too, in February a year ago. I know what its like having to travel on the routes without a fire type
just consider it a 'welcome to Johto' gift!

[Text]

[callbacks]

youre a real nice kid jt

[Reminds him of someone a whole lot.]

so you got a particular preference for the firey types or is that just how your party turned out

[Text]

[awesmazings]

it kinda ended up turning out that way, but they're one of my favorites for sure!! My favorite types are fire and electric. My partner is an electric type so I think im a little biased

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[callbacks]

haha nah dude electric types sound boss as hell
i mean im inclined to think fire types are probably even bosser but im also freezing my ass off at the moment so that might be influencing my judgment at the moment
what about
skeleton types
do those exist

[Text]

[awesmazings]

I wish!! we do have ghost types though, so thats pretty much the same thing when you think about it

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[callbacks]

shit
really??
ok i want like all of those
or at least the cool looking ones
are there any like super freaky ones oh man im all about this already

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[awesmazings]

oh man only like all of them??
I have a ghost type pokemon that's literally a haunted sword
it's awesmazing!

[Text]

[callbacks]

WHAT
i need that on my roster like yesterday!
dude swords are my THING

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[awesmazings]

it's called Honedge!
but no get this
mine, Excalibur? he evolved not long ago
the first time Honedge evolves it turns into two swords
then it turns into an even bigger sword with a shield and everything!

[Text]

[callbacks]

[Haha. Excalibur. Hahahaha.]

ok but tell me
is it a legendary sword
did you have to pull it out of a thing

[Text]

[awesmazings]

nah my friend Al traded him to me
it was when all the new pokemon showed up last year that one time...September I think it was?
but I think Excalibur sounds cool so that's what I named him!

[Text]

[callbacks]

yeah its a pretty good name for a sword
real traditional
a name with a lot of weight behind it you know



i broke a version of excalibur once

[Text]

[awesmazings]

[oh my god Dave how]

woah really?
howd you do that?

[Text]

[callbacks]

i knocked a thing into another thing and it snapped like a cheap piece of shit
a legendary cheap piece of shit
i couldnt get it out of the rock so i just took the most expedient course of action
i could only use broken swords at the time anyway so it worked out mostly

[Text]

[awesmazings]

aw man thats nuts
well these swords wont break at least
I dont think they can anyway since they're alive and all

[Text]

[callbacks]

i hope so
i mean the last thing i want is to get lynched for accidental pokecide
swords just break around me
its not anything i or anyone else can control its just a thing that happens

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[awesmazings]

yeah I dont think your honedge would let you break it even if you were actually trying to so I think you'll be fine
if it got hurt or anything you could always take it to the Pokemon Center anyways and they'd fix it right up

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[callbacks]

where can i get one?
a honedge i mean
i know the nearest pokemon centers in the next town up

[Text]

[awesmazings]

uuuum lemme think
I know theres gotta be a place you can catch em
If I were you I'd check caves, or Ruins
those are the kinds of places ghost types are

[/whispers Ruins of Alph from afar]

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[callbacks]

there are ruins???
shit dude call me indiana and sign me the fuck up
i am ALL ABOUT scouring weird dead shit for weirder dead shit to put on my team