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you know
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not
[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]
if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation
anyway
hey
a/s/l?
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not
[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]
if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation
anyway
hey
a/s/l?
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Hey!
[I MEAN, THERE IS A LOT TO RESPOND TO HERE. THAT'S THE EASIEST ONE TO RESPOND TO.]
Sounds like you've done this kinda thing before, huh? I can promise you, it's really not that bad. Unless it's snowing right now. Then it might be a little bad.
But anyway, my name's Jimmy Two-Shoes!
You got any questions and I'll be happy to answer em!
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where do i find a centrally heated bunker and do they take season long reservations
also im dave
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okay so what type of Pokemon did you get? Psychic, right?
it does snow here in the wintertime but as long as you've got a Fire type you'll be okay! We've got lots of breeders round here so you shouldnt have a hard time finding somebody who could breed you one if you want one right away
but I think you'll be fine for now
I'm not a breeder actually but I have a whole ton of Fire types, so I could breed you something real fast if I needed to!
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isnt it winter time now?
[He's already freezing his ass off...]
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prolly wont snow snow for a while yet. like December maybe?
I mean it'll be really super cold though, so
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...
.......................
im gonna freeze to death and die
and be dead
rip in peace me
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I mean if I didnt have Inferno or Lucy or Molotov with me right now id be miserable
Im used to it being really hot where im from but ive gotten used to how cold it gets here, I think
but im serious if you think you need something right away maybe I can breed you something? i dunno what you'd like but I think I could breed almost any of my guys
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i never played pokemon growing up
i guess im not picky???
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um
[...]
ive got a giant moth that's really super fluffy and toasty like a space heater, that's Inferno. She's one of the first Pokemon I ever got
Lucy- or Lucius- is like a dog with horns?
Molotov is just a lion, but he's a fire lion so that's cool
there's really a lot of Pokemon out there though so its not just those
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definitely not the dog
i mean not to knock dogs or anything
one of my best friends blew up and then turned into a dog
but
yeah
no
maybe the moth? toasty sounds like a pretty fucking good deal right about now
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okay tell you what
you'll prolly be headin to Cherrygrove next yeah? Since thats right after New Bark and all... I'll breed Inferno and Turkey and should have an egg ready before you get there
then text or call me when you're there and I'll get them to fly it over
you'll never have to worry about being cold again once it hatches!
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actually one of the nicest things anyones offered to do for me lately so
ok?
ok
you want anything back in return or
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just consider it a 'welcome to Johto' gift!
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[Reminds him of someone a whole lot.]
so you got a particular preference for the firey types or is that just how your party turned out
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i mean im inclined to think fire types are probably even bosser but im also freezing my ass off at the moment so that might be influencing my judgment at the moment
what about
skeleton types
do those exist
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really??
ok i want like all of those
or at least the cool looking ones
are there any like super freaky ones oh man im all about this already
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I have a ghost type pokemon that's literally a haunted sword
it's awesmazing!
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i need that on my roster like yesterday!
dude swords are my THING
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but no get this
mine, Excalibur? he evolved not long ago
the first time Honedge evolves it turns into two swords
then it turns into an even bigger sword with a shield and everything!
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ok but tell me
is it a legendary sword
did you have to pull it out of a thing
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it was when all the new pokemon showed up last year that one time...September I think it was?
but I think Excalibur sounds cool so that's what I named him!
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real traditional
a name with a lot of weight behind it you know
i broke a version of excalibur once
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woah really?
howd you do that?
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