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[callbacks]

you know
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not

[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]

if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation







anyway
hey


a/s/l?

Comments

[callbacks]

i dont know enough about skitty on wailord action to speak to its ironic value seeing as ive literally just gotten on scene
but no a/s/l isnt really an ironic thing generally?
i was using it half facetiously here because yes its connotations are ironic when used properly but but im also genuinely putting out a shred of interest here
id kind of like to know like
you know
whos around
what i should expect around here
seeing as this is where im going to be at for the foreseeable future as far as i can tell

[soundmind]

Good, I had enough of that with one guy that stuck to bolded text, I don't need another.

[Maybe he's not actually from John's world and it's a coincidence, but it's one hell of a coincidence.]

Anyway, you can expect monsters of various size and type attacking you sometimes, that's what the little guy that's with you is for--battling them and maybe catching them. Sometimes they lay eggs too, no I don't know why, yes even the dogs and cats do that. There are a ton of other people here from all kinds of different worlds, some of them have been here a really long time and can tell you tons of information. Probably way more than I'm about to.

We have to walk to get anywhere at first, but people have found different ways to travel. Riding on goats or horses is one, teleporting with psychic monsters is another, flying on birds--but only after getting a badge and teaching it a move specifically *so* you can fly on it for some reason--is the most common.

They expect you to work at a job when you go into a new town for at least a week, upside is it's ridiculously easy to get a job and the pay is good, down side is most of it is going to be spent on staying in a hotel probably. Other ways to earn money include beating up the Pokemon of trainers on routes to get their money.

You know video game logic, right? It's video game logic, we're in one huge game, resets and all.

A lot of the NPCs will tell you the same thing over and over again, don't tick off Officer Jenny, Goldenrod is where most of the other foreigners are, uhhh...I don't know, anything else you wanna know?

[callbacks]

holy exposition dump batman

[If she just turned up the purple on her prose, she could almost give Rose a run for her money.]

yeah i could tell its all video game logic
you could say im already experientially oversaturated with that genres particular day to day minutiae
besides hasnt everyone already heard of pokemon?? its only like a multibillion dollar cross cultural franchise
youd think theyd have heard of it even in death valley
i was not aware people lived there by the way i kind of thought it was a national park

[soundmind]

Sorry, I know it's a lot.

[Riku wrote a handbook for this...so people can just read that, but she always forgets to grab the thing.]

I'm pretty sure I live in some alternate version of Earth, because yes, I live in Death City, in the Death Valley of Nevada, in the United States. Yet we haven't heard of Pokemon.

I like playing RPGs though.

[callbacks]

ok but arent we all from alternate versions of earth if you really get down to it
but anyway sure i accept that
im from houston by the way
houston from one of the earths that had the pokemon games
i didnt play those though we didnt have nintendos at my house

[soundmind]

[That.

Is an unexpectedly astute observation.]

Yeah. Though some people still get freaked out about their version being truest. After a while you just kinda forget about it.

Cool, so you're a neighbor. In a vaguely creepy watching-us-from-across-the-street way, anyway.

The thing you're using right now has video games, too. Like Legend of Zorualda and Five Nights at Fantina's.

[callbacks]

[Oh my god Maka why would you tell Dave Strider about Five Nights at Fantina's. Do you WANT him to pee his pants?]

really?
sweet
i guess at least ill have something to do while i trip over all these ledges on my way to my appley just deserts
so hey is this little guy really supposed to protect me from random encounters on the way cause like
hes kinda
wimpy

[soundmind]

[Because making boys cry is what she's best at, obviously.

Also the game doesn't actually scare her so.]

It sounds like a Ralts from how you described him, right? That's what level grinding is for, he might seem weak but you just have to unlock his potential.

[Wax on, wax off and all that jazz.]

But it would benefit you to get more Pokemon as you're going along, too. Catching Pokemon on the routes and getting eggs from breeders is how most people do it.

[callbacks]

man
not that im complaining about getting my ass out of the line of fire
but its gonna be weird not taking care of that shit myself
besides i mean
what if they dont want to fight
im just saying people went to jail and stuff for cockfighting rings and puppy mills back on my earth and this toes the line pretty hard
i dont want to like
force them or anything

[soundmind]

I've been here for two years now, I got used to not doing it myself, so will you. Don't worry, if they don't want to fight they'll let you know. Pokemon are smart, their level of thinking is very similar to peoples'.

[That...sounds way more condescending than she's intending.]

I know it sounds really freaky, but this is how everybody lives here.

At any rate, battling isn't all people do with Pokemon, some keep them like pets...one guy has a whole circus of them.

If you're still worried about it, I can send one of my Pokemon over to protect you guys.

[callbacks]

eh
its probably not necessary
video game logic right
im assuming the only things around are the weenie shits that cant really hurt us
im more worried about food and shelter tbh
its ballsack cold out here

[soundmind]

Yeah, a lot of low-level Pokemon and some low-level trai

[Oh sweet Arceus. The trainers. She forgot.]


If you see a kid named Joey, just


run


once he sees you, he'll never stop talking about his Rattata.

EVER.



You've got some food to start out with, your Pokemon should be able to forage for himself. I think there's a tent in there, too? Maybe a sleeping bag. It's been a while since I've done the "start your magical journey" thing.

[callbacks]

note taken about this poor joey kid



ok i just checked my bag and ive got the sleeping bag but not a tent
so if it rains i guess im just fucked
thanks for nothing crazy mom

[soundmind]

Sorry, that's my bad.





Forecast also calls for rain this week.



I have no problem with sending my Alakazam over to teleport you to the next town. I don't mind even if he probably does.

[callbacks]

that sounds sorta like cheating
lets do it
...
i mean if its not too much trouble anyway
id really like not to die of fucking exposure on the tutorial level thatd look bad even with the rest of my record

[soundmind]

Nah, it's not, he just sits around the house reading the paper and redecorating anyway. Besides, what kind of helpful NPC would I be if I let the protagonist die on the beginning map?

When you're ready I'll send him, he's kind of a fox-goat-thing? So don't freak out if you see something like that, it's just Flash.

[callbacks]

uh
is there anywhere i should go to meet him?
i dont really know how teleportation stuff works
space wasnt my thing

[soundmind]

You're still in New Bark, right? It's okay, he knows where that is.


Oh crap I forgot--he'll need a mental image of you, so I know this sounds really super creepy but can you turn on the video?

[callbacks]

[...

Yeah, okay. He was the one who started this conversation with "a/s/l." Dave flips on the video feed to show himself in all his capey pajama glory. His Ralts is sitting to one side, head in its hands, probably bored out of its little skull.]

'Sup.

[soundmind]

[To be fair, so it doesn't seem like Dave is talking to some faceless weirdo, Maka turns on the video too. Hey look, it's just an average teenage girl sitting next to a...thing. Apparently Psychic types all have a tendency towards judging looks, because the critical eye this Alakazam is giving him would make Tommy Lee proud.]

Hey. [More to the point, this is someone she recognizes all right. Someone that the last time she saw was wearing a dress, but besides all that.] Nice cape. Flash, you got it?

[The Akalazam rolls its eyes and puts the newspaper it was holding down. Okay fine, he's got this. Maka turns off the video again so him going off to teleport doesn't cause any abrupt sound interference. Don't need to be blowing out this guy's ears when she's only just actually met him.]

He should be there in a second. He'll take you right to Cherrygrove.

[callbacks]

ok thanks

uh
i didnt get your name

[soundmind]

It's Maka.

["Stop offering to help strangers!" Flash bitches at her telepathically as he goes.]

If you need anything else, you can call me. I know it's really weird to get used to, but a lot of us foreigners help each other out as much as we can.

[callbacks]

nah i kind of get it
and you know
thanks
its pretty cool of you to offer
right im dave by the way
dave strider

[soundmind]

[Ah.]

Right, I remember you. You've been here before--or, at least a version of you.

[What revelation is this?? Is she going to reveal that he's a former best friend? Makeshift family?? What?]

You were in a dress last time I saw you. You looked good, don't get me wrong.

[callbacks]

[...]

ah

[...]

like one of those slinky numbers or a proper southern promenade gown because i could go either way