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[callbacks]

you know
if she were my REAL mom
i bet she wouldnt have kicked me out of the house with just one lunchbox for a THREE DAY FUCKIN SLOG
i mean what the fuck!
she didnt even present me with a lovingly handstitched sweater with which to brave the elements out here which i might add are somewhat less than ideal at the moment
i mean jesus
the shirt she packed me doesnt even have sleeves??
how much transdimensional video game relocation bullshit does a guy have to go through to get some partway decent parental supervision going on
youd think a franchise literally designed for four year olds would be more kid friendly
come on wheres the endless supply of crustless pb and js that oughta be in my inventory
where are my hard earned vanilla dunkaroos
even my little psychic helmet guy knows this is prime horseshit i can tell by the faint look of pity and abject confusion on the visible sliver of his face every time he looks at me
right little buddy
yeah he gets it
do i look like a young man with the know how to forage for edibles in the eight bit rainforest
of course not

[This is text. He doesn't look like anything, except red. Red and text. A lot of both.]

if you threw an apple at my face right now i probably wouldnt even recognize the fresh produce
thats how long ive been cooling my heels in fakey realchemized space ration hell
do they have apples here even
omfg if i literally bled for this shit and even the weird nintendo wet dream nerd bubble lacks the means to provide me a consolatory glass of aj for the travesty thats been my life im gonna
well im gonna just shut up and deal with it like i have for the past three years i guess
but youll all know im not happy about the situation







anyway
hey


a/s/l?

Comments

text;

[loveisanopendoor]

um are you okay??? i feel like i didn't understand like half the words you just said

uhh let me try and make some sense of this but

if you want apple juice i'm sure you can find some!! they do have apples for sure!! and i can't tell what kind of pokemon you have byt psychic helmet guy sounds like a ralts to me??? they're really cute!!!

text;

[callbacks]

["um are you okay???" is both the rudest and yet somehow nicest sentiment anyone's expressed towards him in quite some time. Someone's worried about his well-being. How...unprecedented! Aww.]

shit im so stoked for apple juice thats the best news ive heard since obama won the elections
also yeah ralts sounds familiar
i guess thats what he is
hes alright i guess
are they all this small and judgy

[loveisanopendoor]

ralts is cute!! they're pretty tiny but they're very sensitive so you should be a little careful but they're so adorable...

um

not to sound like i'm not cool or anything but who is obama??

[callbacks]

oh
guess were all from different worlds huh
obamas the president of the united states of america on the earth where im from
thats a country
america i mean
earths a planet
or it was until it kind of got destroyed

[loveisanopendoor]

wait, earth was DESTROYED where you're from?!?!

what the heck even happened?!

[callbacks]

meteors
meteors happened mostly

[loveisanopendoor]

that's so crazy oh my goodness

so what happened after that?!

[callbacks]

then me and my friends hopped around in space for a while and got in a fight with a dog
there isnt really that much to tell
dull as shit most of the time

[loveisanopendoor]

whaaaat that doesn't sound dull at all!!! that sounds really cool actually!! i'm kinda jealous

[callbacks]

seven billion people died

[loveisanopendoor]

I MEANT THE SPACE ADVENTURE PART NOT THE EARTH BLOWING UP PART OBVIOUSLY........

[callbacks]

it was alright i guess
i mean the whole thing was designed like a game
but it was pretty fuckin dangerous and we couldnt really enjoy it most of the time since we were more concerned with not dying nastily at every turn
and then there were problems and we had to take a three year break and believe you me that was so stale

[loveisanopendoor]

sounds like it had its ups and downs

well if nothing else you're alive and well and you're getting apple juice and this place is a really nice place to be if you want to take a break from that, well, everything, so

i think you'll like it here if you're looking for a rest from all that, pokemon adventures are fun :)

[callbacks]

[AHAHAHA, "alive and well"... :' )]

i mean
yeah im not going to complain about an extended hiatus from space death adventures two: the rebarkening
that seems like a pretty good gig


i guess id just be slightly more reassured about taking a break if i knew my friends got one too
but it looks like they didnt get ported in with me

[loveisanopendoor]

you never know!! when i first got here i didn't have anyone i knew from home but not too long later my sister showed up so

anything can happen c:

[callbacks]

oh man i hope my sister shows up
this bizarre mystical fauna shit is her JAM

[loveisanopendoor]

i'll keep my fingers crossed for you then, friend!!! here's hoping whoever's up there doing the thing and making the choices for who to bring here keeps you in mind <3

what's your name???

[callbacks]

dave strider
whats yours?

[loveisanopendoor]

i'm anna!!! it's nice to meet you dave :)

if you've got any questions about whatever i'm more than happy to answer them i've been here for like over a year and a half now??? so i kinda have a good idea of what's what!!!

[callbacks]

haha damn some people sure have been hanging around these parts a long time
but yeah its nice to meet you too anna and thanks for the offer
ummm
ok yes i have one question
like
where...can i buy warmer clothes
my pajamas just are not gonna cut it

[loveisanopendoor]

all the good stuff is in goldenrod city!! it's really huge, lots of different stores and buildings, but its a bit of a hike from here so for now you'll have to settle with what they have in the next town over..

[callbacks]

as long as its warmer than two shirts and a cape i think ill be ok
im not really built for the cold
no natural insulation

[loveisanopendoor]

oh i'm sure you'll find a nice jacket and maybe some little mittens and a scarf or something!!! shame you didn't start off with a fire type like charmander :P

my sister used to have ice powers but now she doesn't so she's finally feeling the cold for the first time while she's so trust me you're not alone, the struggle is real as they say

[callbacks]

hahahaha
its realer than the real housewives of orange county
but yeah like i dont really miss my powers in general but they wouldve come in at least a little handy here

[loveisanopendoor]

you had powers too?? were they cool at all?? man i feel so left out nearly everyone cool i know had powers of some kind back where they were from...

yes that's me saying you're cool BTW